"n i know ur addicted"

2010-08-01T23:42:00.004+08:00

"This boy keeps believing in what he is doing even if everyone else is laughing at him. And he continues to believe and work for it no matter what other people said."
- Mrs Lillian Mani, my primary 6 form teacher

Totally remembered these words from her that she mentioned a few years ago.
Totally agreed on how much of a stubborn ass I was, I am and I ever will be!
Hah.

I totally recalled myself being laughed at by people whenever I shared my dreams. From young, 'til now.
I recalled the times when people said that I'm an idiot, conceited or just out of my mind.
Its like blinking my eyes; it happens everytime.

I am still firm to my decision that I should never back out, and stop believing in what I'm fighting for right now.
Hell yeah, never in my life am I going to stop believing in myself.
I've decided that it is me who will decide what I will be and should be doing, not the people who give me a wet blanket.
I'm never going to back down, never in my life.
Call me crazy, but I'm going to persevere. I'm going to fight 'til the end.

And you know what? I totally believe that a crazy man and a genius are completely the same. The only difference is that a genius is one who is successful, a crazy man is not.

Currently, I am a crazy man. But you will see what I can do.
Theres no stopping me until my success.
This is only the beginning. Even more is to come.

2010-07-18T22:35:00.002+08:00

I told myself that this year will be totally different chapter of my life. The chapter will be titled as "The year of my life's war". I was right. But I wasn't right because I have no choice but to. It is my decision to make this year that way.

Where can I go if I have not decided to do so?

Will I be able to face my problems right in the eye?
Will I be able to change my life for the better? Will I be able to bring the best out of myself? And will I be able to finally be at my best again?
I'll answer "No" to all the questions without fail if I did not decide to finally have all my problems solved, and to decide not to "declare war" to all the problems that I have right now.

Currently, I might not be at the best of health. I do not have the time to even watch the television. But what I can tell is that at least I am out of my comfort zone, trying to make a change in my life. Hell yeah baby, at least I took my first step forward to get this over with.

But yeah, if you're close to me, you would have realised that a lot in my life has fallen apart, but slowly, something better is building up. I just wish for the best to happen. I have done, and I am doing my best. All I have to do now is pray hard, and wait for the best outcome to happen.

2010-07-04T00:32:00.002+08:00

I've hurt my backbone. And whenever I trip on things, it will hurt like mad.
And yes, this started to happen since NAPFA test.
For more than one month, I've hurt my back. My family members thought that it was just nothing, just plain muscleaches.. But yeah, after one month of enduring the pain, I'm seeking treatment.

I've seen myself really sacrificing a lot for this dream that I want to achieve. Hell yeah. I'm not going to give up. Never am I gonna do that. I'm going all out, even if it takes my life (Hopefully it does not have to take my life though...).

Well, looking at myself, I'm the kind of person who has been an advisor, supporter, motivator and a friend to many. I've been the kind of person "who will always be there". But when I look around myself, and I can only see some people looking up to me, but there was noone to sit down with me, and truly listen about my life. Well, I've never had one, a person who can actually sit down with me, and hey, just give me a heart-to-heart talk.
And yeah.. Its so normal to me that I will not feel comfortable if someone is to do so with me although I know that I might need one.

But still, its okay. All I need to feel now is love. Love from my parents. Love from my friends. Basically, just..Love. That will be a great feeling to have right now.

I'm still moving forward even without these. I know that I'm still on a pursuit for happiness. One that will not only give happiness to me, but also my parents. One that will also bring joy to others. And I'll continue fighting even if takes everything out of me, because I know that it will be worth it.

2010-06-30T09:38:00.002+08:00

I want to start my post, telling everyone that I have been in the wrong course for 2 years.
Well, think about it. Imagine yourself not liking your course at the first place, and you're forced by everyone around you to be in that course or you will face the consequences. And just add up the fact that you've been putting a lot of effort just to do well in it, but end up with very below average grade. And just add the fact that you have to lie to yourself for another 1 and a half year after lying to yourself for a couple of years already. And add the fact that you know that people are badmouthing you, though you did nothing to them.

Yeah, you know what I mean right? The reason why I was forced to enter the course is because it will provide me an average, secure and stable job in the mere future. And I will be getting a better pay if I were to further my studies. Awesome huh? No.
Think about it: Just look at my grades. Yes, its true that I will be given a secure and stable job, but I do not want an average pay, added to the fact that I do not want to be in the science industry. I approached a friend of mine who graduated with a Diploma certificate in the Biomedical field. Guess what? He's 26, and he's working with shipping goods to the country.
Damn, that kind of job? Kiss my ass, I'm not gonna be an average income earner, in what I do not enjoy doing.

So what's my plan? Since I would lose everything in the future if this carries on, then I would have nothing left. If I have nothing left, then I would have nothing to lose.
I want to do something more sensible. I've collected enough money to get in another course. One that I know I will do well in. One that I would enjoy without forcing myself. One that I would join not just because it will make my family happy, but will also make myself happy.

And yeah, theres also another thing to add here. The month of July will most probably me the month (if God permits, too), that my life will change. It'll be the start of me proving something to my family that I do not have to live being in the medical field just because its a stable job. Their expectations of me (or even life itself) will change to a new level. And hopefully, if this success continues, I'll be able to lead the life that I want. A life that I choose to live.

2010-06-18T00:28:00.004+08:00

Its been a hard fought battle to me. And right now, I'm finally at my strongest. Somehow, I kinda feel numb whenever I work. Is it a good thing, or a bad thing? I'm just feeling numb now, because I know I'm tired, I know I am giving it all, but I'm doing it all the time that it felt so..normal. I found out that all this hard work, and endless effort is like a part of me.

The will of mine to give my parents the life that they want, and to be a contributor to changing people's life have always been the goals I want to achieve. I know that I'm not having all the fun that everyone is having now, but I do believe that it'll all be worth it. It will all be over if not soon, then a little later, if God willing (:

All I know now is that I believe in karma, and I hope that good things will happen to me too.
And yep, I've been good at loving my family, doing what seemed as not likable to others when I
know its because I care, and many countless stuffs that I know I've done which required a lot of sacrifice, just because I love and I care.
Personally, I hope that they will be cared about. And I hope that I will be loved back too (:
That'll be awesome, huh?

And yeah, I'm still on the road, to what I am seeing as a road to my success. A road to success in life, afterlife, work life, love life.. well.. LIFE.

And for those who don't know what I am up to now, you can ask me personally. Add me on facebook or msn if you have not, you can send me via email or personal message via facebook.
Byee!!

2010-06-07T11:39:00.002+08:00

Currently at the worst state of my mind right now. I can't think straight.

My self-esteem, crushed. Just like that. Everything just went wrong from three days ago, til now. It just came to me like a smack to the face.

Has hope ran out for me? Feels so. I'm feeling like.. how I felt when I was down. But its the worst ever.
I can't feel anyone giving me a hand to get me out of this zone. Wait.. the only person who was there to get me out of such situation was...Myself.

I just want to be left alone now. For myself to recover. I'm at my worst right now. I want to go to... the highest storey of a tall building, and just be there alone. I want to go there now.

2010-04-28T21:32:00.003+08:00

25 May marks my NAPFA test. I've been training my leg in the gym since ever, so somehow, I've been training myself for standing broadjump too..

Speaking of NAPFA test, let's list down all 6 stations for it:

1) Standing broadjump
2) Sit and reach
3) 10 x 4 metre shuttle run
4) Sit-ups
5) Chin-ups (Or Pull-ups)
6) 2.4 kilometre run/jog/walk/crawl/ahh! you knoww!!

Standing broadjump

Standing broadjump is one of the stations that I'm really worry about. I've been training my leg like mad, but I'm not good enough to secure an A. Okay, actually I can secure an A. I can jump as far as 252 cm, just 1 cm above the minimum needed for an A. But still, its only 1 cm. I have to be able to confirm that I can get an A

Sit and Reach

I've been training for Sit and Reach ever since I learnt the Roundhouse Kick. I must make sure that my hamstring is flexible to secure an A, which is 51cm and above. Lets see what I can do then (:

4 x 10 m Shuttle Run

Another station I'm concerned about. I've trained a lot on my running technique. My striding has improved. I'm not sure if I can get an A for this ( below 10.2 seconds), I hope I can though. But yeah, shuttle run is not about speed. Its about agility. Dang, gotta check if I'm agile enough then..

Sit Ups

2 words. No sweat. :P
I've been training my core and abdominals since ever. I've been doing torturous abdominal exercises which are much worse than dumb sit ups. To get A, I have to be able to do more than 42 sit ups. No problem, unless I cramp my legs at that time..

Chin-Ups

It is easy to secure an A for Chin-ups (more than 10 in 30 seconds). However, I want to beat the record in my poly (which is 22 Chin ups in 30 seconds). My target would be 30 chin ups in 30 seconds. However, I'm only able to do 15 Chin-ups in 30 seconds. Gotta work hard. Gotta be crazy (:

2.4 km Run

I have to finish 2.4km in 10 minutes in order to secure an A. I was jogging around Bedok Resevoir at a distance of 4.2 km. I reached the 2.4km mark in 9.30 seconds. I wasn't too happy with it, coz I was almost a minute slower than that. Still, I just wana get 2.4km run over with.
But hey, 2.4km run really motivated me to train, and do more cardio exercises. It clearly means that I can improve the way my abdominals will look :D
Win-win situation. lol

Haha. So yeah. I'm really tired now. Headache is getting on my nerves. I'll log out now. Til then.

2010-04-28T00:56:00.001+08:00

Firstly, I want to state that I totally miss NPAP 2010. I miss my fellow trainers, the FIs and HOs who have been great mentors, the participants, my Turn-Out Guard Girls, and urgh. Just all of them. Oh, I'm not gonna neglect my mass flags from NPAP 09 too! Wow, though its been days since this year's parade, I've not stop admitting that the longer I am as a parade trainer, the more humbled I've become. Ah. Oh well, I'll wait for next year..

Now now. I've been working hard at my job. I'm beginning to see the light now. The light that shows the end of my family's debt. I'm gonna clear it away. Well, all I can say is that on the 1st of May, I'm going to awaken the dragon, and I'm gonna be crazier than ever to stop all the suffering.
Ain't it cool? I'm so grateful that I'm beginning to see the light.

I want to be an inspiration. A sign of hope. A hero. An idol.
I want to be the reason why people will work hard and smart to make their lives worth living.
I want to be the reason why they will go all out just to make this world a better place.

And these are what I'm going to be if God willing:

I'm going to be an inspirational Cadet Inspector. Nono, a future Senior Cadet Inspector.
I'm going to be an inspirational person in my workplace.
I'm going to be an inspirational hero, mentor, idol and guiding light.
I'm going to be an inspiration.

1st May 2010. A sleeping giant will awaken.

2010-04-22T01:17:00.002+08:00

It seemed that there are some people who did not understand or believe my situation.
They thought that I was being a hypocrite. They thought that I was slacking and fooling around, when every evening, I set out to work. They were wrong. They just happened to judge me, and their judging did not seem to be accurate. They're wrong. It just shows their level of immaturity, selfishness and lack of understanding.

Just when they thought that I was slacking and fooling around, I was sweating, working and thinking of the next strategy to use to end my family's burden. Often, I would fall sick. As from what some people have observed, I appeared weaker although I've still been working out. But I appeared weaker due to the lack of sleep and rest.

Well, what they think would not affect my performance at work. I just have one thing in mind: to get materialistic burdens off my family. Let's see what they can do to me.

2010-04-18T23:06:00.002+08:00

As the days pass, NPCC Annual Parade 2010 is over. Time flew really fast.
And when it was all over yesterday, I was like, damn! There goes another parade.
As all of you know, NPAP gets more emotional for me every year. And yeah, I gotta admit, my heart was crying like mad when it was over.

I will remember these days. From day one, when FI Faizal asked me to coordinate this event, to the day when I met the trainers, to the day I had lots of problems, to the days that I seek advice, to the days when CIs asked me for advised, to the days, I watched them giving advices, to the actual day itself.

As some of you know, I was the commander of the Turn-out Guard. It was the first time that the Turn-out Guard was completely made up of female trainees. But hell, they made one hell of a work. I shall name them. They are: Wei Jun, Nabilah, Ardilla, Samantha, Izzati, and Hamiza.
At first, these 6 people were meant to be the Guard of Honour reserves. But after a few practices full of hard work and effort, I am confident to say that their new standard in static rifle drills can stand out if they were to be in the Guard of Honour contingent. In fact, the Turn-Out Guard girls managed to catch the attention of many people from the slapping of their rifles, and banging of their legs from the rifle salute (present arms). Personally, I learnt a lot from being their commander, mentor and guiding light. Thanks TOG. (: "Just remember, we live to be better than the every second before."

I would want to thank the CIs who have been supporting me throughout this parade too. Not to mention officers and FIs who have been great mentors to me. Who knows, we can work together again someday. And trust me, the next time we meet again, I would be much better than what you have seen in me right now. This is a challenge that I'm issuing to myself.

And of course to all the other participants in NPAP. Don't forget that what you've learnt from this parade, be from the good times or the bad times. It is sad to say that the parade has come to an end, so much that even a well hidden-emotion guy like me can be brought to tears. But this parade is a beginning for all of you to bring back all the good things that you have learnt from the parade. I'll look forward to seeing some of you in next NPAP (2011). And that would be my 4th NPAP as a full time CI-trainer.

And my goal for next year? Once again, I'll go for PC!

2010-03-15T23:10:00.002+08:00

I arrived home 30 min ago, and the television was on. Well, my dad fell asleep while watching it. He's currently on the mattress in the living room, sleeping.
That man was probably tired from his work.

Well, just now, he was coughing like mad la. Offered to feed him some cough syrup. I took the bottle and a spoon, offering to him, but he simply drank some from the bottle itself. Sheesh. Luckily, it was just the right amount.

I cant ignore the fact that my dad has been working very very hard for months lately. He totally went over his own limits. Hmm, he's not only working. He's struggling. For a man to single handedly take care of the family for years, that requires a resilient person to do that despite all the problems that the family is having. The incident where he "invested" that $60k but did not get a single sent back.. it also showed how determined he was to get that money for my sister and I to further our education. But as problems and more problems arise, I knew that he can't make it alone.

And of course, as a son, I grew sick and tired of knowing that he is struggling. Of course I have to start somewhere. And its going to be the 4th month since my long battle to help. So far, the results were only little, but I have to keep moving. I know that the big results will come in soon, as long as i keep praying, and as long as i keep pushing.

Dad, dont worry. I'm going to stop this agony.

2010-03-14T22:12:00.002+08:00

I have to stay strong now.
Life would be a struggle.
But I will just keep moving forward.
No matter how slow I am.
I must not stop.
Lots of people will need me.
I must not fail them..

2010-02-27T22:53:00.002+08:00

I'm just sharing out my thoughts here...

I remembered that after FI Faizal selected me to be the NPCC Annual Parade and Singapore Youth Festival 2010 CI-Coordinator, my leg shivered, but I was really delighted. It was a dream that I was about to fulfill. I acknowledged that it was not going to be an easy journey, and took up a challenge not only to improve myself, but also the organisation as a whole. I remembered telling myself to prove those people who were against me that I can do it.

But as time goes by, things tend to get demoralising. There were lots of problems, from the lack of support from my family, an overwhelming ego in manpower, and also the lack of quality mindset from some. Days pass by, and I still had hope in everyone, but it kept going down, until one time, when I told myself that its time for a change.

For many times, problems arise. For many times, people do not believe in me. But until when? I personally believe that it takes one to cause a chain reaction and make a change.
If noone is going to do it, then its up to me. I'm just going to show everyone how capable I am. I can do lots of extraodinary things, theres so much in my life that I have went through which are not ordinary and I believe that I can help beat all odds. I'm telling myself that I'm not an ordinary person, because theres so much things that I dream of which are not ordinary, and I always want to take action to achieve them. In fact, I'm making my move now. One person might not be enough sometimes, so I'm just going to use these two powerful words: Leadership and Influence. Its now up to me to start making a change now..

2010-02-25T18:31:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, I tend to remember on how crazy I was over Power Rangers when I was a kid. I was crazy over the character Tommy Oliver who was a big hero to many kids out there during the old days, also known as the Green/White Ranger in the Mighty Morphin Power Ranger series.

Wow. I was such a Power Ranger Geek when I was young. Back in the days, my cousins and I used to do some "rough play" to each other and fight. Yep, we hardly see the spirit of young guys being rough these days. But yeah, we used to just fight until one of us cries, or bleed. LOL. But yeah, we were kids back then..

I could still remember myself pretending to be the Green Ranger last time. Well, I cant blame myself, I was four then. If you guys ever watched Power Ranger before, usually, the Red Ranger would usually wear a red shirt before morphing, a yellow ranger would wear a yellow one, so on and so forth. They would match their shirt to what ranger they are. And for me, I went extreme. I wear GREEN UNDERWEAR!! LMAO. Those were the days back then..

haha. I just missed the good old days where the cartoons and kids shows were so damn exciting. Things are getting lame these days. Or maybe I have just grown up. A lot. Haha, so much have changed for the past 15 years eh..

2010-02-22T02:21:00.002+08:00

Oh shucks. My com just CRASHED! Just borrowed a laptop from Shahrir (thanks bro), and I can finally do my work, blogging and stuffs.

Its like, Monday today, and tomorrow is the start of the first of two papers for me.. Dammit! I'm so damn looking forward to holidays, but not the exams. I bet that lots of students agree with the previous statement. lol. But really, thank GOD that I have only 2 exam papers. Okay, one is a killer. DAMMIT!

Well, its all about enduring through this problems sometimes, and all the rewards will definitely come eventually..

So, tomorrow's plan would be to wake up, hit the gym, work out as hard as I can to release all the stress away, and mug, mug, mug! Its time to work hard!

I'm just telling myself to keep strong in the mind and heart. There are so many people out there that I want to put in values to their life. And I definitely cant do it if I am not successful in life. So, right now, I just have to excel both in business and in studies, and things will start to change with my help. The goal of bringing values to people's lives might sound unnecessary to some, but this is something that has a big meaning to myself.

Hmm, so all I have to do now is just to start mugging again after blogging this post. I hope that 5 years down the road, when I read this post back again, I will smile to myself coz this dream of mine really come true. Well, its time for me to make my move now..

2010-02-18T20:15:00.004+08:00

Hell yeah!

Just left with less than a week to holidays, and that would be awesome. There would be lots of rest to catch up with, more adventures (well, isn't studying non stop of science no life?) and of course dreams to fulfill. Oh wait, you guys just know me... Holidays will definitely be full of GYM GYM GYM!! hahahah.

Well, thats about the upcoming holidays. I'm gonna share something with you guys today. Check this video out!

Haha, well, I miss the good old days of watching Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.
That was like the first series of Power Rangers :D
I guess I'll post a blogpost about that next time eh! hahah.

Hmm owrite. I gotta go now. I'm gonna mug for tomorrow's term test. Its gonna be a pain in the ass, but oh well, once its over, its out of my life!! Just look forward for more posts!

And you thought this blog was dead? Hell no!

2010-02-17T19:30:00.002+08:00

Haha! I'm back! And check out the blog, it kinda changed huh?
Well, I got lots of stories going on lately, so read on..

As you can see for the past 3 years of my life, I see not much but lots of failures, and bumpy rides and all. But 2010 is very very different from the past 19 years of my life. Why is this so? This year is a new chapter of my life. Its called, "The Year of My Life's War". It either sounds big time, overrated, or kinda.. "WHAT??" to some of you, but I'll explain why.

As you know, my dad needs to get $60k to pay for his debt, and I'm taking action for it. My personal problems, I'm taking actions for it. And a little more than one month ago, a burglar broke into my house and $8k of stuff in my house was gone, $2k belonging to me. That $2k was for my education, I wanted my mum to keep it in the bank, but she insisted on holding it. So, there you go. If money have wings, then there it flies..
And guess what? I'm taking action for it too?

About my health? On my path taking action for it, there were times where I went breathless,
I couldn't breathe as per normal at times, and of course since I get tired at times, chest pains do occur. Did I tell you I'm a cancer survivor too? WOW! Haha. This is where I stand, and I appreciate myself for being, me... I might be tired, I might not be able to take much of it physically, but as long as my mentality is there, nothing is stopping me, and if God permits it, I shall succeed. I cant believe I'm doing this when I'm still a student. Woo. And I'm taking action about my health too, so don't worry..

I promised my mum that all the money that we have lost, I will make up for them by then end of this year. It sounds crazy, but I as from what I can say, I'm damn right taking action of every single problem that I have. Indeed, this year, its war for me. Its the year where I start confronting every single problem that I have. Of course, its tiring, but I'll just call this an investment.

Hmm, then its just me now, and putting values to people's lives.

*Watch my crazy, but very possible plans. Damn, its risk taking time.*

2009-09-03T23:38:00.002+08:00

Just something to share with someone. I actually went to the polyclinic for a checkup regarding my injured leg. Currently having shin splint. Went for a radiology test/ X-ray. The test did not detect any unusual results (Visible cracklines, Unusual bone density). However, the doctor indicated that the X-ray test is not perfect, and might not be accurate and precise enough when it comes to finding any lines of fractures. Therefore, I have to keep a close watch on my shin and go back for another checkup if its still not okay. For those who do not know, I have been having this for almost 2 months. So, I'll update you guys about it aite?

Well, all that aside, I just wana share some things here. I did deadlift for the first time in my exercise routine today. For those who do not know what deadlift is, just google it down. The maximum I did was only 50 kg. Hopefully, I will be able to increase it to 60kg, or perhaps even to my own weight or heavier. Also, I would do around 200-300 half squats a week. My aim is to be able to do 500 half squats in one shot. Wish me luck people! haha

Okay, speaking of weights, I just lost 1.5kg after the one and a half week of the fasting month. My weight has gone down from 65kg to 63.5kg. Don't know whether that's good or not, but I'm still gonna go for 70kg. Haha, yep

So, I finally have time to post up stuffs on my blog. Right now, I just have to think of good stuffs to post about. Any suggestions, just tell me or tag me yeah?

*Struggles up ahead*

2009-08-30T22:21:00.003+08:00

After weeks of mugging, getting busy, a lot of nights with lack of sleep, I am officially announcing that this shall be my next blog post!! woo.

Yesterday night, I went to YTSS for the combined Uniformed Group ROD night. Well, the most exciting part of it was that I get to see my squadmates again. That was one hell of a great feeling. You know what? I got very high for the first one hour of my time there. LOL. I did it simply because I had no life and wish to clear off all the burden in my mind. (:
Me and my squadmates who were present took a pic during the night. Aaron was not in the picture.

21st batch of NCOs

Well yeah, it was some sort of enjoyable night for me too. It totally reminds me of the times I had 2 years ago, I mean, my own ROD night.

The most memorable part of that night, to me is when we shouted the Warfront cheer in the parade square with my squadmates, the 21st batch of NCOs. Really reminded me of the times back at the days when I was a cadet, leading the cheers and shoutings in my squad.

The 2nd most memorable part of that night is definitely singing "Pearly Shells" with the 22nd batch of NCOs. Well, I was actually one of the people in charge of their squad before they became student leaders in their own rights. And Pearly Shells was their favourite song. They would just sing that song out of nowhere during sing-a-long sessions and go high after singing it. Hmm, seriously reminded me of my good ol' days.

Somehow, I miss those times that I had then. I am confident to say that it was the tough times that really brought us together, and those are the times that left a lot of memories for me to remember about. But yeah, Life has to go on for us. We can't just ignore the fact that our days are gone and treat it the way we want it to be. We have to move on, and experience the beauty of life that we will be heading on in our path. But you know what? Not everything applies to what I've said. The 21st batch of NCOs are going for an outing on December! Hah, yeah. I'll be looking forward to that. Its possible that I would be one of the person planning for that outing.

And yep, lets look ahead and move on with life now. See you all.

2009-08-10T21:46:00.000+08:00

It seems that the last time I have seen a bunch of people with passion in their eyes is just a few days ago. That was the time when myself, along with two others put in the motivation to the sec 3(2009) NCOs. Though we were the ones motivating them (whether good or bad), it was them who decided to have the passion in them. It totally reminded me of a younger version of myself. It reminded me of the time where I was foolish, stubborn and passionate enough to give my all no matter what the situation I was in. That was both good, and bad. But the difference between me right now and this batch of NCOs is that they have each other and I am the one watching over myself.
Still, I would like to give my thanks to this batch of NCOs for the memories I had. It really reminds me of the days where I (felt) much younger.

So, what is this "thing" called passion?
So far, in this literally short life of mine which is full of lesson and values, I've not seen many people with the passion.

Okay, try to imagine this:
You have a plastic cup with holes in it. And you cover a brightly lighted candle with the plastic cup. If you do so, you will see lights shining outstandingly throught the holes.

Now looking back at this theory, the fire from the candle is your heart. The plastic cup is your physical being. The brighter the fire, the greater your passion.
Got it already? This "passion" is actually an emotion inside a person, which comes from the heart. If you really meant it, and you really have the passion for it, it sets the fire in your heart. It can be seen through your eyes and your aura, which can be felt by the people surrounding you. And when you have it, trust me, you will feel something so good, which is one of the best feelings that Mankind will ever been given.
Live and do things with passion, and trust me, you will have a meaningful life ahead.

And remember that:
With passion, you can push yourself to the limits. With passion, you can change things around you. And with passion, you can do things beyond your imagination.

*If life for me is different from now..*

2009-08-09T17:10:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, I'm finally back. I'll be posting a blog shortly today. So, Stay tuned!

2009-07-30T00:35:00.002+08:00

Okay awesome!

I went to the gym today, and I actually planned to work out for only an hour, but it lasted for 2 hours and 15 min.
I did a good shoulder workout. Right now, it is a torture to simply raise up my hand. Well, its all thanks to the encouragements and help that my friends (who are old enough for me to call "Uncle) gave me. These bunch of strong peeps are very good at pushing their friends to their limits. Thats awesome, coz I was pushed beyond my limits.

Oh, speaking of workouts, I am currently having a shin injury. Yes, another injury, once again.
I'm simply full of injuries, I know. But oh well, that simply means I can't run for some weeks now, which is much of a bad news. Not to worry, coz I have a feeling that I'm recovering pretty fast now. And once I'm done recovering, I'll be doing more runs and leg exercises. It'll be as awesome as ever.

*Let down by a lie I told myself*

2009-07-23T00:18:00.001+08:00

I have been observing myself lately.
It seems that I am getting weaker in terms of health, but it seems that my mentality to keep fighting for my best has been growing stronger. Yes, its true that life is getting less than kind now, but yeah, I've been motivating myself all the way. I know for myself that getting motivated in my kind of state is a very hard thing to do, but yeah, I've went this far and I can't turn back for now.

I need to remember that I am born with a gift. And this gift is the one that gives me the heart to care for all those who need it. Not to mention that the meaning of my name is "Our love" (yes, I know, look at my face and you don't see love). Somehow, I want to live up to my name, being a person who is able to care about others.

Just like a quote I like to say "my thoughts are my talent, and my heart is my gift". I am living through all this. Although I am not a great source of miracle, at least I can be sort of a catalyst to it.

I must remember, that I might be the one suffering, get spitted in the face, get hurt and be the one who struggles, but it will be a meaningful big sacrifice.

And I also know that I'm the one who's health is quite dependent on medicines, and looking at myself, I know that my self esteem is not as high that I may show to others. I know that due to my dependence to medicines, my life MIGHT be limited. But looking at what my goal is, I have to succeed in my life, and then keep giving, even if in my life, I might never be able to take a single thing.

Though I've not been showing it at all, my life have been very emotional lately. But oh well, its only worth to share it with just myself right now.
Hmm, and now, I just to keep of fighting. Just keep fighting like how I've been doing it since I was young, both mentally and physically.

This post shall be a good reminder to myself..

*Keep on going.*

2009-07-20T22:27:00.002+08:00

Its like 10.30pm now, and I'm quite tired. Thats pretty fast. Perhaps that was because I went to the gym just now. Did leg exercises - olympic barbell back squats, cable squats, explosive jumps at the stadium staircases, leg extensions and bla bla bla. You know what? I did so much of them that I struggled just to do a simple squat with no weights afterwards. That was pretty nasty. But what is nastier is that I just discovered that I HAVE TRACK AND FIELD TRAINING TOMORROW!! Okay, I'm starting to wonder if I can run. Oh wait, I'm wondering if I can even walk properly at first. You are welcome to call me "old man" if you see me limping tomorrow. (:

By the way, the first H1N1 case has occured at Temasek Polytechnic Applied Science School. I would really want to wish Ismail all the best on his way to fight through it. And once you're okay, I really hope that you will continue on your road to be a true Muslim. I'll be really proud of you if you do so. (:

Hah, sorry friends, I need to go now. Dad is like beside me doing stuffs. I'll post a few videos on the blog, next time, this time, for real so, really stay tuned.

*Its worth it. I know it is.*

2009-07-15T20:11:00.002+08:00

Days are passing by now. I've finally made up a study plan schedule for myself.
I seriously can't afford not to do well for my exams. Never again. No more failures.
So yep, more studying smart from now on. In fact, I'm gonna start doing my past year papers. (:

And wow, I had an assessment for Communication Skills for Apllied Science (CSAS 3 ) just now.
We were supposed to present and teach our own fellow tutorialmates on how to do a lab report. Yes, a lab report. How irritating. Lol. So yeah, my group is assigned to present about the background information, method and materials used. And you know what? I was assigned to ask questions and explain the answers. So, I came prepared with a powerpoint slide, a planned rapport and yeah, I was so prepared like how prepared I can be when it comes to accepting money. (:
And yep, I was searching my bag for my powerpoint slide which was printed on a piece of paper, and I just couldn't find it. Was panicking, and thought that I've really lost it.
I "asked Ms Viji (our CSAS3 teacher in charge) for permission to go to the washroom" and she allowed me to. And so, I went out of the room and before the door even closed, I just stand right in front of the door to call Dhaus to ask if he had accidentally taken it (coz he read it previously). He rejected the call. So, I managed to quickly infer that it is most probably at the concourse table. So, I just moved at the speed of sound to take my powerpoint slide (which thankfully was found) and calmly went up to the classroom. Well, the reason why I moved only at the speed of sound is that I did not want to move at the speed of light. I might suddenly go back or forward in time, according to Albert Einstein XD ( BLUE TEXT IS FAKE).

So yeah, was up there in the classroom and before it was my turn, I was at the corner at the front of the classroom. And guess what? My heart is beating so hard (I don't know why I was nervous), I can see my T-shirt move along with my heartbeat. So, I just acted confident, as usual, successfully got a good rapport and skinned a cat. Like seriously, I thought I would stutter throughout my presentation but I did not. I sounded a little bit shaky though (according to Atiqah) but it hardly noticeable. (:

But guess what? There are a couple to a few more presentations to be done, which includes Pharmaceutical Legislature and Marketing and also CSAS3 (again).

Hah, so that is something cool, and I really do hope that I will do well for my academic performance.

Hmm, yeah. So thats it for today. Tomorrow will be a long day. A very long one. So, I better go now. I'll be sharing a couple or a few videos soon, so hop around here sometime.

*Indeed an addict*

2009-07-05T20:25:00.002+08:00

You know something? I'm pretty tired now.
I reached home at 2.30 am with dad just now because of a function at his friend's house.
I woke up and played the computer for a while before going out to the gym.

Did some tiring shoulder exercise (which gave me a headache, 'coz I exerted a lot of force to lift the weights). Oh, speaking of exercise, I am currently researching on effective exercises which can help burn your fats. So once I'm done, people are free to ask me about it - don't be shy, you can ask me for updates personally.

Hah, yeah, so I went to the library at Northpoint and found a seat to study.
Took out my tutorial worksheets and A4 papers. Was all motivated to study until I went..
"WHERE ON EARTH ARE MY LECTURE NOTES??!" And I recalled that I left them at home.
Try to search for related books to what I wanted to study, but all useful ones were borrowed.
Haha, and sadly.. yep.. have to go home.

So now here I am, revising Organic Chemistry 2. WOO. How high can I get studying all these?
So yeah, have to study now, I'll update this blog with more posts once I'm free.

*Its time to choose from my options..*

2009-06-29T22:20:00.002+08:00

I'm not so sure about myself, but I think that I'm much fitter than how I was a year ago. Okay fine, a year ago, the scar on my neck is still undergoing recovery, but yeah, I'm gonna try to do a backflip again! Well, just thought that my legs and core are definitely stronger than last time (though I still have skinny legs). So, yeah. Hopefully, if I manage to do it properly, I'm gonna take a shot of myself doing a backflip.

Hah, yeah. But you know what? Stress is definitely building up in my humble (or trying to be humble) life. 1 Project work to be finished by this Friday when not a single progress has been observed. Same goes for another project of mine to be handed in on the 10th of July.
Woooo! I'm feeling so doomed. As in, DOOOMED!!!

Doomed feelings aside, I'm very tired now.
So, see you around soon...

*Its our choice of destiny*

2009-06-27T23:17:00.004+08:00

So as promised, my beloved readers, here are the videos.
Hope you guys have an awesome time watching these.

Got that SUCKA! haha. Okay, if you think that the obama video is funny, just check out a remix of it. LOL!

Okay, so these 3 videos are what I wana show you guys.
Its awesome, so hope you enjoyed it.
Til then.

*I was really THAT ignorant*

2009-06-25T15:34:00.002+08:00

I would really like to apologise to everyone for not updating you guys.
Well, life is seriously kinda pressuring lately, thanks to my recent academic results.

Okay now, my mum has actually had her shoulder tendon torn and would probably have to go for an operation. She has to decide by somewhere in the mid-July.
So now, I'm gonna share with you two conversations between me and my mum.
All are translated to english:

1) This conversation happened at the bus stop. It was about her 1 week old iPhone 3G
Mum to Dad: After I come back from Indonesia with my mum, I want to sell my iPhone la.
Me and Dad: WHAT?! why??
Mum: I dono how to use la..
Me and Dad (exactly at the same time): Then learn LA!!!

2) Mum was sleeping on my bed one afternoon when I entered my bedroom.
Me: Mum, you tired eh? okay sorry, just sleep la..
Mum: Oh.. by the way, did that tell you that I have to go for an operation because of my shoulder?
Me: Really? Oh, he dint tell me. And by the way, once your operation is over, after you recover after some time, its time you exercise *saying it with my firmness and seriousness*. I dont want you to become weak when you age, understand?

Cool eh? haha, The first conversation was the most memorable one to me.
Oh, and stay tuned, coz I'm going to share to you two awesome videos. Trust me, you'll be laughing your ass off. And those who are still tuning in to my blog, can you tag my tagboard? Just wana know something. Thanks.

2009-06-10T21:55:00.003+08:00

Okay, I'm back from Mt Ophir yesterday nite. But, I'm pretty lazy to upload pics ah..

So, I woke up, smelling the fresh air of Singapore (well, not exactly fresh, theres H1N1 virus in this country).

Okay, you know what? I feel like talking about my eating habit. I eat lots of fruits each week. Lots of it. But vegetables? Not soo much of it. I have issues with vegetables. I only like to eat salad cabbages. It started out way back when I'm around 3 years of age or somethin'. Mum, was feeding me, I ate some veges and vomitted after that. And from then on, I kept feeling like vomitting. I can still remember my dad scolding me for puking. Something that would work for me is definitely to eat fruit salad! I loved to eat it 2 years back.. Damn. Think I should prepare some for myself next week.

I love meat! Chicken, beef and mutton is on top of my list of foods. I used to love eating the fatty parts of meat, eg. Chicken skin, but I have been limiting myself to only a certain amount of 'em.
The main reason why is that I do NOT want a belly. Well, imagine me with a big belly? You saw that? Wow, that looks awesome doesn't it?
If I were to have a lot of money to spare (which rarely happens), I would buy some minced meat, and EAT THEM! Ever tried cooking some minced meat and eating them like rice? Lol, it tastes awesome! But sadly, you have to wave goodbye to your money.

Eggs. I eat lots of eggs. But once again, I have limitations. I limit myself to a maximum of 2 egg yolks a day. No limitations for egg white. Thats where I get my proteins, other than from meat.

Fish. Occassionally eat it. But if anyone from my family is to offer me to eat it, it means that they are prepared to see nothing else but the fish head and its bones. Rahimi prefers BIG fishes.

I limit myself to soft drinks. They're high in sugar, usually have artificial colouring and flavours and bla bla bla. I don't want to risk myself to diabetes yer know. Both my grandparents from both sides of my parents have diabetes. What do you think? lol. I'm used to and like the good 'ol plain water. They're simple, cool and refreshing in a lot of sense. Just like me. :D
But what I really love to drink if I'm not having sore throat is HL chocolate milk. They're high in protein and calcium, and they taste awesome. But they're heaty. (come to think of it, HL milk is just like me, and plus, it is heaty, and just like it, I'm hot!) Blue text is fake. Haha. I dont drink protein shakes, coz I can't afford them, but I would if I have enough money. So, that is when chocolate milk and a high protein diet takes place for me.

And of course, I prefer to eat 6 times a day. But if theres too little time, it would go down to as little as 3 meals. And speaking of food, I'm hungry.

Oh, and food aside, my leg hurts after the Mount Ophir hike. Yep, leg muscle pain ah. Its a good feeling though, but it would be good that I get it recovered as soon as possible, coz track and field camp is coming up on Friday.

And I must not go to the gym tomorrow because of the upcoming camp, although I feel like it. And no running too. Okay, that sucked. Maybe I should go buy a shirt tomorrow then. And do lots of slacking before doing my holiday assignments. Damn, that was a good idea.

*Figuring out what is wrong*

2009-06-07T00:05:00.010+08:00

Okay, like I'm finally back now. But damn I'm sick. Have been down with flu, sore throat and cough since Wednesday. And those who know can tell how bad it is when I have a sore throat.
And yeah, I have to meet up with Ridhwan tomorrow at 6.30am at Khatib,Yishun NTUC to meet up before setting for Mount Ophir, a.k.a. Gunung Ledang. So, this is gonna be a fast one..

Me along with Syai and Firdaus (Fir)
Im awesomely slim. I know XD.

And NEWS report! Syai and Firdaus (Dhaus) have been seen flirting around after the Dhaus-Fariza SMS incident, where Fir actually saboed Dhaus by sending an interest SMS to Fariza using Dhaus' phone. And Dhaus accused Syai of doing it at first. Its Epic.

So.. they're flirting.

And they really went on and liked it. :D. No hard feelings to the both of yer bros (:

Fir and Syai

Dineesha, Aminah and Aisha

Dhaus going bonkers. As usual.

Our very important notes and water bottles.

Syai on his attempt to enter post for PlayGirl Magazine.

And its the crazier side of me. Who wouldn't get crazy after studying for hours without much sleep? And notice that there's a letter "H" at my forehead. Its made up by my veins, I wonder how it happens.

Dhaus bonkers AGAIN. Like I said, dont blame the Biomedical Science students. Blame our darn modules!

Dhaus' foot. Wondering why he took a picture of it.

Waterbottles and our notes. What can be more useful?

Post term test..
Luqman. The guy with ultra strong legs.

Qhairil and Fir

Amjad flaunting his wonderful abs. And look at Syai!

Amjad doing his chicken wing flap while kicking a ball. And look at that idiot with spongebob boxers. His kicking an invisible ball!

Amjad looks like a star player. And Lutfi too!

haha, so I have to go now. Needa sleep!
but before that, here's an EPIC video of Joey doing nonsensical nonsense!! haha

Hope you enjoy it

*Finding oppurtunity*

2009-05-31T20:51:00.002+08:00

And so the first paper for the upcoming term test is on Tuesday. Great. Im gonna study like a mad dog tommorow. Will be mugging for three subjects, hopefully. Thankfully, I'll be mugging with Firdaus (A8G5). Hah, and hopefully, I'll get to see "the one who melted me" tomorrow. XD

Oh, and not to mention, I'm going to go to the gym for a while and run around Bedok Resevoir. All these are due to confirmation to whether I have enough time and whether I'll still be in the mood to do so.

This week is gonna be a stressful one. But I think its gonna be rewarding after that (I hope). 'Coz if I were to do well in it, then its gonna be a great feeling. And not only that. Im going to Mount Ophir aka Gunung Ledang on the upcoming Sunday! Hopefully, it'll be one great time there with Ridhwan's family, the other guys and another one of my fren's family.

Oh, and I think that I shouldnt be carrying heavy things with my arms now. I've got a feeling that I've hurt my shoulder, soo yeah. And you know something? My holiday is filled up already!
As mentioned earlier, I'll be going to Mount Ophir. And then, 2 days later, I'm going for Track and Field camp. Wow. Call that a huge rest. But seriously, I seriously think that my 1 week holiday is too filled up. Oh! And like, I'll be finding a job too! Omg.

Coming up next on my later posts: How I'm doing for my term test, and my eating diet. Come around soon.

*I have to step in. But how?*

2009-05-26T12:44:00.002+08:00

Im currently waiting for class here, so being myself ( a no life human-looking alien who can kill two stones with one bird) , I'm here to blog.

I'll be going home late tonight. Having track and field later, so can't wait to meet my friends there. Oh yeah, did I mention that I will be having term test next week? I hope that I can easily score As for my Pharmaceutical Legislature & Marketing and Organic Chemistry paper. Hopefully so, these two subjects are what I'm kinda okay at.

Oh, and guess what happened at the start of the day? I was like, took a taxi from Tampines Interchange, just because I thought I was late for my first lesson, APEL. But guess what? It was cancelled. Yep, I totally wasted $5.40 freaking dollars just to waste for the thrill of panicking.
Dang. I wasn't informed by anyone when I was supposed to. Poor me. And after lunch just now, I am totally broke with onl $1 ++ in my pocket.

The bad start of the day aside, I actually brought a 1-litre carton of chocolate milk today. And I actually already finished it. Lol, think I wana bring another carton tomorrow.

Well, I'm gonna go for lecture now. After all these stuffs, Imma go to the gym before CCA. So, see ya.

*Did I just see someone at another room just now..?*

2009-05-20T23:38:00.003+08:00

Oh, and like theres no school for me tomorrow!! (but you know what? I'm such a geek that I'm going to school to study for my term test. Yes, a geek.)

I reached home just now and went straight to my room to keep my bag, only to find out that Sis was sleeping on my bed. Had a conversation with Mum (in Malay, but translated to English for your understanding):

Me: Mum, I don't know I have a wife.
Mum: What??
Me: Theres a woman sleeping on my bed, waiting for me.
Mum: Huh?
Me: (gave up trying to hint her) Sis is sleeping on my bed..

So just now, I played a little basketball with Yu Xuan, Nathan, Bryan and two other people. Before that, the four of us went to the gym. Guess who's the noob? Hah, predictable. Me.
Malays guys living in the north do not play basketball. If you're a malay guy from the north who plays basketball, then you are not a Malay. You must be found in the thrashbag before being adopted by SPCA. (:

Oh, and just wana wish Yu Xuan a happy birthday in advance! Its time you behave like an 18 year old. Hahaha. And may you become an Alpha Man. LOL (only a few of us understand this).

Owrite, see ya around everyone.

*Like an angel.*

2009-05-17T20:10:00.002+08:00

Well, I went to Escape Theme Park today for a job interview, which dint become one. waited at from 2.40 pm to 3.05 pm. They said that the interviewer will be coming, but nah he/she dint. And I had to rush to Dhoby Ghaut to meet up with my cousins. Ah, and I was like, screw it, I'm late!
And i was like 15 min late.

We went on to watch Star Trek. Not a bad movie lah. And yeah, we just ate and part ways. We had our own meetings and other things to do. I had to do my assignments and revisions and the rest.. yeah.. their own stuffs.

Guess what? I just finished studying here. Fundamentals of Pathology is quite a pain in the ass, but I've got 82/105 for the online quiz! Thats like 78%. Was not bad, but I can definitely do much better. Oh well.

Well, its a crazy week ahead. I'm stuck with 2 more projects to be submitted a lil later and 3 quizes! Hah, I'm so sorry, but yeah, I promise that I'll blog a lil more when I'm less busy!
And I gotta go, see ya!

*Keeping my pace up now..*

2009-05-10T21:04:00.003+08:00

A picture of me and some 50th NPAP trainers during our gathering in CI Kee Yong's house yesterday! So sorry to all that I have to leave pretty early... Had to meet my dad at serangoon..

I woke up at 12.30pm today (besides my wakeup time for morning prayers) . LOL. Lazy ass..
But that simply shows how tired I was lately. Had a pretty short and nice gym session today.
Did some chest and abdominal workout.

Oh yeah, and tomorrow's my Organic Chemistry 2 first quiz. Had to do uber well at it. So far, I'm done with around 40% of it. My aim for tomorrow's quiz is simple. Its just do show how far my potential can be and use it for self motivation. Hopefully, everyone else can see what a former 1-pointer can do for his academic results. (Oh, and my abs look awesome today. LOL)

And last of all, I will be doing a lot of bench press exercise! Will be doing much heavier weights now, I don't know why I'm doing so, serious. Oh well, and I'm gonna run 5km tomorrow again! woo. Okay, I gotta go now, needa study. See you around.

*I wish so.. Can what I want be what I get?*

2009-05-04T00:04:00.003+08:00

Okay.. I just want to post about yesterday which has just passed 6 minutes ago..

I woke up at around 10 am, still sleepy. Actually slept at 3am previously!
So, after some religious matters, I had a short break before cycling all the way to Hougang, near to Yio Chu Kang Primary to tutor two kids. Of course, I have to cycle all the way back to Yishun, which I did. Actually cycled to Northpoint to buy an elbow support band, energy booster sports stuff and find 2 thermometers at the pharmacy, which I failed too. It seemed like EVERY SINGAPOREAN actually brought a thermometer at the previous week. Cool eh?
Sadly, did not go to the gym today because of my busy schedule. Yes, BUSY SCHEDULE.

Discovered just now that I was able to make a voice which is very lose to Spongebob Squarepants, including his laugh!

Oh! And Mustaqim asked me to announce that my arm has circumference (aka, bicep measurement) has increased by 0.8 inches! woot. =X

Oh yeah, and damn! I think I have a crush on a girl. LOL. And I'm gonna nickname her... foolemak! Coz that is always my natural reaction when I see her. LOL!!! okay enough.

Okay, so off I go now. Bye!

*Its my long hard effort that I'm holding on to.*

2009-04-29T23:40:00.006+08:00

Monday's post:

Had a good 5km run with Amjad at the evening.

To be honest, I have not fully recovered both mentally and emotionally from my academic problems yet. One example happened on this day. Dr Vijaya, our course manager gave an encouragement talk to the Lvl 2 Biomedical Science students.
One of the things she said was that going to a university which is not good is as good as nothing.
So, she encouraged everyone to go as far as they can and aim for the better universities.
Adding that up, she told everyone to aim for at least a GPA of 3.0. "Can all of you do that?" And most of them were motivated with the given information and said yes. Of course, what she said was motivating, but I was very demoralised after that. For me, getting a GPA of 3.0 only has a probability of 25-30%. Looking back at the GPAs so far, that was very logical. To be honest, I was crying deep inside myself, but I did not show it. My heart kept telling me that this made me feel as useless and helpless as hell.

After that talk, Dr Vijaya talked to me for a few minutes, and asked me about myself and how I was doing. She told me I should just do my best all the way. One of the lines she said was that getting good grades isn't everything and getting the skills are definitely more important. I just told her that what she said was what I was trying to convince myself. She's definitely a respectable person, but still, its still a fact that I was demoralised previously.

But damn, how can I keep lying to myself? I might have the skills, but what's the use if you don't get to a university? Yes, of course getting the skills are more important, but getting good grades will decide where I will be. Its sad to keep on lying to myself. I have done that a lot of times in secondary school and I din't get shit from that. And in tertiary education again? I really abhor the thought of it, and the fact that I have been lying to myself too much and too long.
But really, if I were to tell myself the truth, all I can do is just do my best. Full stop. Thats all.
Whenever people come by me and say the same old line "Its not the fact that unfairness have brought me down to my knees. Its what I have done to get that." My reply now would be "Sorry I had Cancer okay? Sorry that after trying to motivate myself so much when I have no a little bit of basics, no A math and Biology background, attend school at a later date because of my recovery stage, and not attending the first basic days of school, and trying to bring my ass up from not being lazy, I did not manage to catch up and a good grade. I'm just sorry."

I'm a selfless person, who feels helpless.

Tuesday's post:

MMA Day! Worked my ass off with studies and training. Nothing much to say.

Today's post:

This is the first training in my new CCA, track and field. Enjoyed it much. Oh, and thanks aiinnx for wishing me luck. Haha!
By the way, I'm pretty much interested in throwing! I mean, not throwing rubbish away, throwing as in "throwing sports in track and field".

Oh, and credits to Lutfi for giving me an advice. I need that.

And by the way, I've got this red marks from the crunches that I did just now. Got them from the very rough floor. Notice more red marks at my lower back. Awesome-O!

*It might be easy just to think, to see, or to hear about it, but its much harder to go through a situation and to do such a thing.*

2009-04-26T20:13:00.002+08:00

Argh, I'm sick.
Down with cough, had flu just now but thank God its okay for now, and having fever!
I just finished 2L of apple juice. Started drinking from the bottle at arnd 11am. Also drank some plain water. Total mugs of water drank today is definitely more than 12. lol.
But it was so bad, that I can't go to the gym. And the gym already closed for today. Its only open til 8pm on weekends. Sadcase. Maybe, I'm gonna carry my 20kg filled bag and go up and down the stairs later. Hopefully, I can sweat all the fever away.

Well, I looked at the mirror to take a look at my tonsils. Its ultra swollen. And its not because of the fact that I'm sick today. Its because of all those shoutings I have done, the throat infections and sore throats. I seriously need to let it recover, but I wonder how long it would take. 4 months? 5 months? Maybe even a year or longer... which I hope not.

First week of the 2nd year in poly life has just passed. Tomorrow's the start of the 2nd week..
Its like not much of a difference. Kept printing notes once again, wandering around and stuff. Can I buy a gang of friends please? Oh shucks, I forgot that I'm broke. I feel like finding a job in the next 2 weeks.. A job for my weekends so that I can get a few extra bucks..

So far, noone told me that he/she wants to tag along with me to Singapore Bay Run. Thats really sad..

Hmm okay, I gotta go now. Gonna eat! Come again.

*When the living felt lifeless..*

2009-04-22T19:38:00.000+08:00

I'm here to make an announcement. I am going for Army Half Marathon organised by Safra. Its also known as Singapore Bay Run. I'm planning to run a distance of 21 km. Anyone interested to tag along with me, please email me or contact me through my mobile phone. Thanks!

2009-04-21T20:58:00.002+08:00

I'm back. Okay, I went to the gym just now for an hour. Cycled to Chong Pang to find a health supplement shop that I managed to find out about over the internet, only to discover that it was not there.

Now I just wana go back to talk about school today. School today is totally nothing new. Its the normal times. You see me walking around alone, printing homeworks and notes and yes, all those ordinary things.

I am trying to enjoy my lessons and be more proactive and enthusiastic so that I will not get too tired like last semester and break down.
You know, doing things such as answering questions wrongly during lecture can be embarassing most of the times. But shame would definitely mean nothing if I am able to learn more.
I discovered that my general knowledge has improved even more and not to mention, my own lifeskills.

Well, something to share with my loyal readers right here:
I've decided that it is enough of me being too selfless. Being selfless is good, but being too selfless such that you might hurt yourself in anyway will not be worth it. You might decide to be "too selfless" in order to reach a certain goal or for the benefit of or to please a group of people. Trust me, this will not work. It is said that being too selfless will decrease your chances towards your goal by around half the percentage whereas doing it for the benefit of or to please a group of people will tend to make them dislike you, or even hate you.
So, why bother being "too selfless" when you know that people will dislike you and you will have lesser chance to succeed to get what you want?
However, the value of selflessness if controlled, will bring much benefit to us.
It brings up a lot of value to not only the society, but also to yourself. Of course, there are much more benefits from being selfless in a "controlled" sense.

Trust me, I learnt this from my own life experiences, and it happened lots of times.

*I just hate the thought of it..*

2009-04-19T21:38:00.002+08:00

So its 19 of April. Yesterday was NPCC annual parade. And yeah, it was the 50th Annual Parade.
Remembering all the trainings that passed, I recalled the fact that I have taken 3 different contingents. The first one was contingent 1. After the results of Unit Overall Proficiency Award, I was reallocated to train Mass Flag 1. And after a few trainings, I was reallocated again to train Mass Flag Party 2 along with a good partner who trains Mass Flag Party 1 and he is none other than CI Kee Kwoon. Thanks Bro, much has been learnt from you.

I recalled the training when I was officially Mass Flag Party 2's trainer. I gave them the mindset that they should be wanting to be the best and they will be the best if they coorperate with me well and of course, do their very best and go beyond their own limits.

Despite the fact that this year is my 2nd year as an NPAP trainer, this was the very first time where I was officially a trainer for a specific contingent. Last year, I was the CI who goes around, observes, comments and so on. It was my first darn time!

Well, despite my hard will and big goal to make Mass Flag 2 steal a big portion of the spotlight, I faced a lot of obstacles on the way. Common to NPAP trainers and HOs, our time to study was sacrificed on the trainings. I personally had problems with my injured ankle on my right leg too (its healed, but slightly swollen now) . I recalled each time the day after a training when I have to limp around like as if I have used my ankle like a sledgehammer to smash a wall.
Of course, like other trainers and HOs, we most of our lunchbreaks and went down for trainings when we were sick.

It was all quite worth it to me. I was ecstatic when I get to see my contingent with a big time sense of identity, but of course, I tried to cover how much I was happy about this until our final debrief yesterday.

And of course, during the parade itself, there was no casualty from Mass Flag 2! And of course, there are a few things which Mass Flag Party 2 managed to achieve which was definitely cool.
But I recalled too, that this contingent is full of cadets who have flaws of their own. Like for example, the contingent has ninja cadets. One time you see them there, after that, they disappeared in the shadows. That gave me a big time problem yesterday. Luckily, the ninjas managed to fall in again. I was very unpleased with that but I contained those feelings and found more ways to make things easier for myself, which I am thankful God gave me such a good ability to adapt to things.
Next up, this contingent is full of cadets who like to jump around. The cadets do have a big room for improvement when it comes to getting a better mindset to do what's right and not do things which are wrong. So, for MFP2 members reading this, do remember these and really improve yourself.

Overall still, I did not regret taking a contingent of cadets who honour their sense of identity as NPAP trainees. It was definitely a good experience taking you KIDS. XD

And do remember, yesterday was just the beginning of your own legacy in the making. Although I know what I want to do to leave my own legacy, I really wish that all of you are inspired to leave your own legacy behind. Remember, I rated everyone in the contingent with a 92%. The other 8% is for you to work for after the parade. Of course, you can definitely go beyond that and be the best of your own.

And last of all, remember that life still has to go on, and all of us have an unsimilar journey of life.
For my Mass Flag Party 2 cadets, do remember your identity as a contingent in the 50th NPAP formally known as (4-3-2-1) Mass Flag 2!

So, thats all, I apologise to all readers for not posting a picture on this blogpost, coz I did not bring a camera along. But if any of the MFP2 cadets wish to give me, please email them to me.

*My path to my own legacy re-starts. *

2009-04-15T10:30:00.003+08:00

Well here I am at home, waiting to go out for NPAP training. Having cough and sore throat right now. Just took my medicine. I'm just hoping that I will get a little assistance from someone later to train my contingent. And I just hope that I will not be in a condition any worse than right now later.
But of corse, theres chances that my condition will get worse. Firstly, I have to shout. And secondly, I have to stand for a long time plus the fact that resting time is limited for trainers. Of course, a trainer's standard and self expectations should be much higher than that of his trainees, and I can't complain much if I were to get even more sickly.

Know what? I am finally not going to the gym for a day. I started going there since Sunday, went there again on Monday and went to the gym at Tampines yesterday. Lol. Body sort of aches a lot all over. Speaking of working out, I'm pretty hungry here. Think I'm gonna cook something. So, see all of ya around soon.

*How are you going to feel if you are to be in my shoes?*

2009-04-13T13:43:00.002+08:00

Its been 8 days since i blogged. So sorry, my schedule's not a good one.
Well, school is starting on the 20th of April and NPAP is gonna take place on Saturday.
This week is gonna be a ride. I went to the gym yesterday and had a very different workout routine. Well, going there again later with Aaron and hopefully with another friend of mine.

Tomorrow's orientation for year 1 Applied Science students. Gonna accompany aiinnx to Temasek Polytechnic and exercise AGAIN. Hahaha. After that, if they are dismissed early, I'm gonna go for MMA training. Like what I said, this week's gonna be a bumpy one.

Oh yeah, know what? I had some rust in fighting. My strikings are okay, my kicks have improved. But my submission skills have gone a little bit rusty. My flexibility has deproved a little, so.. I think I'm gonna do some flexibility work later. Hmm, I would probably be blogging later, this blogpost will be a short one. I needa go to the market, buy food, cook some stuffs and head to the gym. So, I'll see yer then peeps.

2009-04-05T19:36:00.002+08:00

Back. Yesterday was not much of a lucky day at the beginning.

Firstly, lost my handphone at HTA before NPAP training. Dang. Of all places..
Parents did not know yet, but of course, will work and save up for another phone. Argh. But still, credits to the FIs for putting in their effort to help me find it..
Then, had chest pains during parade time. I couldn't breathe properly at that time. Furthermore, I was one of the trainers who practiced twice during the parade. Of course, endured through both runs on practice. After training, during debrief, had gastric pain. It was the most painful one yet. Went out of briefing/debriefing room aka. Everest Room with Kee Kwoon for those stuffs, I almost lost control of myself. Had chest pain again. So Kee Kwoon went down to get warm water and dry rations for me. HO Salmi gave me Milo. Thanks to both of ya. And guess what? I vomitted after eating and drinking. Oh my.

So, took photos with other trainers and HOs in charge of the parade sub commitee.
We went to eat at the shopping centre at Choa Chu Kang as usual.
After that, we found out there was a promotion going on at the first level. Fiona Xie was there. The other Rahimi, Gerald, Jun Hong Sir (MAYBE) and a few others got horny. LOL!

Yeah, so went home, still sad about the fact that I lost my phone. Argh..
Maybe its just a test of faith and patience for me. I should seriously relax now.

*Change things around you, or change yourself.*

2009-03-30T21:46:00.002+08:00

Back. I did not go out for a jog just now. My ankle just hurts too much. Maybe I'll do it tomorrow. My arms are aching because of the chin ups and pull downs that I have done. My goal to 60 chin ups in one shot is still not yet reached.
Hmm, although NAPHA test is like, more than 1 year away, I'm planning to not only ace it, but to also do so well, it will feel like child's play. Dang, still a long way to go.

heh. nothing to post about. Maybe next time yeah? bye..

2009-03-30T18:01:00.005+08:00

Hey again. Sorry for being late, but heres a few photos I've got from Speech Day in YTSS.
I'd better post some photos before having a 5km jog in the stadium. Hopefully ankle doesn't hurt.
Some photos are really unclear, so.. I shouldn't be posting them. If I've found any photos around which are related, I will do so. (:

Well, here we go...

NPCC Sec 3s '09/Sec 4s '10. Remember that I'm always proud of you guys.

Stephanie and Mas! Stephanie got soo damn random. look at her attire! LOL

Weifun and me. Well, she asked me to take photo with her first!!
Valerie and me. Haha, had memorable good 'ol days having fun with her at 2007. Not to mention that I was rooting for her and Sylvia back then during NDP parade in YTSS (:
And oi! My junior is all grown up! LOL

Oh yeah. I'd better be off going for a jog now. See you.

*You grow stronger, or you wait to suffer*

2009-03-28T11:05:00.002+08:00

Hey, finally back again. Check this picture out. Taken around last week..

Guess where its at?

Its at freakin' Pulau Ubin! And its so damn nice. If you can't see what's so nice about it, then look at the horizon. See the lights shining down to Earth from the sky?
Well, what actually happened was that it was raining from 6 am till arnd 7+ am. The clouds at the end over there just began to clear up.
And it looked like as if heaven's lights are shining on Earth. Pretty nice here.

Hmm, I have more to post about yesterday and today, but I shall post about this later. Look forward to it yeah..

I'm gonna study. And when I'm done with it, I will exercise and do lotsa eating. So, see ya around soon.

2009-03-21T22:38:00.002+08:00

Hey, I'm finally back. For the past few days, I have learnt quite a few lifeskills.
I was reminded that life will not be fair at some times, and to some, most of the times. They are all tests from God, which we have to face in order to be better people. There are problems which exist and they may seem like "Why the hell do they even exist? Its a big pain in the ass." But still, we have to ask ourselves on the possibilities on why they happen? Why is it that they happen to you? Or why does God let it exist? Take for example, mosquitoes. They are blood suckers, they cause sicknesses, and dengue mosquitoes can kill at times. They are definitely irritating. But perhaps, they are lessons for us to be patient, and be vigilant. Also, we know that mosquitoes breed at stagnant water. Perhaps, we have to be disciplined enough to clear off water and to respect the environment around us. I have taught about this, and its cool to learn such things. Still, God knows best.

Dad told me a thing or two about helping and charity. I'm glad that he understands about my will to help because I really do care about the society and the needy. But he told me that I shouldn't be too hard on myself to help the others right now. He told me that it is not the right time, helping people beyond my capabilities. He advised that I can do that next time where there is more time to learn and not now. What he agreed about my decision I have made long time ago was that I have decided that I can study smart, get a good certificate of education, get a great job, get a lot of money and be involved in charity and volunteer around. And yeah, of course, I can't agree more. I admit that I can't even help myself right now, yet I am trying too hard just to help a lot of people around me. Charity does start at home. Charity starts where you should help yourself first, help your mother as much as possible, followed by your dad, and then your other family members and relatives, followed by the society. Its really true, indeed.

Well, I just had a long exercise to relieve myself from 5.51pm to 7-8pm at the gym. Cycled under the block, when I saw a person running away, followed by and old man who seemed angry. The old man asked me at which direction he went. Of course, I honestly told him. I discovered that the old guy was punched on the face for no reason. That teenage kid gave a cheapshot. And you know what? The old guy lost a tooth. Poor guy. Of course, I did not accept the fact that the teenage kid punched him. Firstly, the old man is my neighbour, secondly, he is a senior citizen and thirdly, that was a cheapshot and for no reason, he gave a cheapshot. We lost that kid, but soon again, we saw him. I dropped my bag and bicycle and sprinted towards him and of course, he ran away. I was faster than him. lol. But, he managed to escape. I was just too tired. Imagine working out in the gym for two hours and not getting used to running after a long time due to and injury. Yep.. lol. Sprinted like 250m I guess. Dang. Bad stamina. I gotta run more. Walked back to the block and saw Paul, aka YTSS SJAB's big bro. Both literally and metaphorically :X.

That guy is great though. Both of us were hunting for that young teenage boy, whom only has to balls in his body - his eyeballs. That guys has no man-balls, so we searched for him. And we failed. LOL. We went for a few rounds at the neighbourhood of Khatib and went back to my block, where it all happened. The uncle actually made a police report. So, I just gave the policeman my IC number, full name and address, in case they need me. Well, I felt sorry because I was unable to successfully help my neighbour. I apologised to him but I was pretty happy that he appreciated both Paul and my help. Whatever still, I am sincere about helping him. Had a good time trying to help.

Oh well, I gotta go now. Need to sleep soon and thoroughly revise tomorrow. Bye

*I thank God for what I'm facing, be it a punishment for my sins or the tests of faith*

2009-03-17T20:57:00.003+08:00

There was a fight that went on 1 or two blocks from my house.
I wanted to take a look or at least stop it.
I can't even go out at first.
Dad did not allow me.
If he is at work, I woulda been down.
DANG!!

2009-03-17T19:00:00.002+08:00

NPAP parade commander results are out. They are 2 assistant commandants. Fat hope Rahimi, but its okay. Theres always next year. Have to be failure-resistant.

So yeah, today reminded me about the fact that it has been a year since I have ever worn a Number 1 uniform. Yep. ONE year. lol. The reason for such a reminder is that I accompanied my Sec 3 cadets went to HTA for them to draw their Number 1 uniform. And yep, not to mention that Gerald and Pang are drawing Number 1 uniform too.

Well, my arms are aching today. I did not get that by doing weights. I did CHIN UPS on Sunday at the gym. Chin Ups are cool, and I'm gonna keep practicing it. I'm aiming to be able to reach a maximum of 60 chin ups in one shot. All the best to me.
Practiced flexibility too. My leg managed to stretch to my neck at a roundhouse kick position. Yes, it sorta hurts but not to worry, I'll get used to it. And dont worry, I'm still man. Maybe not, im MORE THAN A MAN. heh. Speaking of leg, my ankle is still recovering. I really wonder when I'm gonna start running 5km each week..

And yeah.. I'm still getting over the fact that theres a very very tiny chance for me to get in a local University. Yeah, its stupid, but guess its fate. I hate it.
I recalled a quote which said "With failure towards a goal comes another better one"
Well, screw it, make sure its really a BETTER one or I'll definitely be fucked up. lol.

I guess that God really gave me a big-time test. Chest pains, depressions, failures, cancer, bad exam results. I've faced through all of these. Maybe God really has high expectations at me, maybe because of the responsibilities I have accepted to hold in the future. Hope everything is gonna be alright.

*The bad thing is that miracles rarely happen..*

2009-03-11T14:47:00.002+08:00

On the road from recovery from the feeling of depression..

Got my exam results and its as bad as... Cant describe it with anything..
My results:

Maths and Stats 2 : Failed!
CSAS 2 : B+
Human Physiology and immunolgy : C
Cell Biology : C
Basic Microbiology : D
Intro to Psycho : D+
Intro to Socio : D+

GPA for this sem : Fucking 1.666666667

Demoralised. Demoralised. Demoralised. Much lower chance to go to U.
And yes. Even motivated kind of people get demoralised.

2009-03-10T01:07:00.002+08:00

Hmm. Its pretty late right now. Haha. Finally had the chance to use this com. I'll just blog short on this one.

I seriously missed watching Spongebob Squarepants and yeah, I did watch some episodes yesterday. That cartoon never failed to cheer me up and make me laugh back when I can call myself "a kid". Haha, yeah. I discovered that so much of its jokes are lame, but funny still.
Spongebob still rules!

My ankle is still on the road to recovery. I don't like to be injured (who does..) but yeah, I have to wait patiently. If God willing, it will be as soon as possible!

2009-03-06T21:10:00.002+08:00

Hi, I'm Rahimi and my abs look awesome. Lmao.

Okay enough crap, I went to Johor just now, along with aunt, dad and mum. Had breakfast with grandparents too. I was surprised with the fact that all of us are allowed to each as much as we want for only RM 1 per person! Had two packs of nasi lemak, a chicken wing and drumstick. Somehow, ONLY that amount! I expected myself to be able to eat more - really wondered why I did not eat so much. And I regretted not eating the eggs there. DAMN! haha. But still, only a ringgit each! Thats a good offer.

After that, went to a place to have my ankle treated. Well, what happened was that I have to sit on a chair, rest my right leg on the other chair and watch them if I want. I had to admit that I was somehow unsure of the outcome, so I just acted like I'm cool with everything and ain't afraid. Two people - both guys - did this:

1) The first guy pulled my toes and let them relax
2) The second person grabbed and press my knees in place.
3) The first guy pulled my foot as hard as if he was in a tug-of-war grand finale championship.

And I was like "... the hell??" The outcome was that, I am able to see my ankle a little more clearly. But before that, the chair that I was on moved forward quite a bit. Yes, that was how strong he pulled. I think that somehow, it got my ankle to be at its correct position.
It was cool about the fact that I was a little shocked about what happened and did not feel the pain.

Of course, I was not able to attend to HTA just now. I cant just bang around and march around after my leg was just treated rite? So yeah.
But still, went back to unit.

A few comments that I wana say:

1) Mr Lin (Teacher Officer) is pretty nice. I can tell that he has the chance to be a professional person one day (or maybe he is already one..). Discovered that he practices some observational learning and hopefully, his adaptation can bring the unit forward

2) I accidentally called Stephanie "Sir". Sry steph! :X

3) I did not get to eat with anyone ):

4) Being honest and not being a hypocrite really helps a lot.

Hah, so yeah. I am gonna go to Pulau Ubin tomorrow. Put the sunblock on! I look like as if I have coated myself with Kiwi all over my face. I still have to take care of my leg. And hopefully, I will have enough time for prayers and chin ups at Ubin tomorrow.

*A life of no values? I have to pity them.*

2009-03-02T22:09:00.003+08:00

Today is pretty okay.

Went to Jurong Swimming Complex after approximately 7 years not going there. The place looks just the same as like years back. Hah, but of course, being with friends, one can definitely do newer things. Surprisingly, I have nothing much to say about the outing today, except for the fact that Zahiruddin and Afiq can be attracted to Phillipinos. No offence for the race though, they are definitely a friendly lot here in Singapore. But yeah, both of them seemed attracted to one just now. Haha.

Well, self briefing for tomorrow:
Rahimi is gonna go to the gym
Rahimi is gonna go for MMA training
Rahimi is gonna do lotsa stuffs
Rahimi is gonna do lotsa eating
Rahimi is maybe gonna go for cycling.
Rahimi is gonna feel bored for some part of the day, so get ready.

Argh!!

*When the time comes, not much of the same thing will happen*

2009-03-01T21:04:00.002+08:00

Hi, I'm Rahimi, and my abs are looking awesome. LOL

Okay, this weekend must be quite an idling weekend. My back has been hurting a lot since Wednesday, and it's got to its worst on Friday and Saturday. Feeling a little bit better now.
But still, I did not manage to go to the gym this week. Dammit. Too busy for exams, and after that, I have back pains. This is cool. Ah, but yeah, at least home exercises works almost as well. Probably gonna hit the gym on tomorrow or on Tuesday.

By the way, Ihsan and gang asked me along to the swimming pool at Jurong. W00t. Women, be awed by me and my mighty washboard (referring to abs)!!! lol. Omg, This is soo damn shameless.. But at least theres something people can use if their clothes needs to be cleaned. XD

And you know something? I have planned my path for the future. I'm score as high as possible for my GPA in polytechnic. And after that, hopefully I'll get in SPF for National Service, do really well in Basic Police Training and get into Officer Cadet School (OCS)!
I can really make use of the money through OCS to study further as well as to secure a good, stable job. That way, Rahimi is gonna take care of his parents, get a good house, have an investment, get a car, get rich, and get married!! Getting married.... hmmm..... okay, I'm thinking too far, but still, getting married is great. Okay, I'm sidetrack-ing.

Hmm and yeah, its definitely a good path, but that means that I have to work extra hard and extra smart for that. I have to keep reminding myself that one day, more people will get help from me and that help that I will give will definitely be greater if I am more successful in my career and in my own life.

Hah, so yeah. I gotta go now. Come by again.

*Do not have the hunger to succeed, but the will to succeed. Hunger will starve you and as time goes by, you will lose control, and just get weaker.*

2009-02-27T10:27:00.003+08:00

Holiday just started! (Yesterday actually...)

Being me (a person who has a schedule), I have lotsa stuffs to do for this holiday. I will be going back to YTSS, go to KL for a short holiday at uncle's house, maybe staying over to ubin for 3 days to help out for HRC, MMA, a few classes and of course, studying a subject or two which I will be learning for the next semester. And guess what? I am officially a year 2 student starting from April 20th. Awesome-O.

Today, I will be going to HTA for NPAP training. I have been getting neck strains lately and yeah, getting headaches from it. Hope that I will still be feeling okay. And guess what? Its been a long time since I went to the gym have been around a week? Better start again. Oh yea, at least I have been exercising at home. (:

Well, I gotta go now. Afraid I could be late for prayers later and gotta prepare all stuffs for NPAP training later. See ya around.

2009-02-22T21:13:00.002+08:00

Okay, cool. Basic Microbiology is uber nice. Thank God I studied, and revised of course..
Had NPAP on Friday. And yep, I kinda disappointed myself. Just don't feel like talking about it.
But I'm telling myself that I will recover from each fall only to be a better person. Yeah, I should remain that way, and I was glad I told myself this on time.

Okay, Friday aside, I'm having HPI exam tomorrow. Its gonna be quite a long ride tomorrow and afterwards, I'll be left with only 2 papers. Great man.

I think I should'nt talk so much here. I have much to share next time, come by soon again.

*Knowing my limits; and what I can do.*

2009-02-19T18:20:00.002+08:00

Okay, today is awesome. I've finally got the mood to study again. One more round of revision, it is all over, I'm moving on to another subject.

Started my day going to Northpoint by bicycle. Accompanied Ihsan to buy his mass gainers. Lol, rich guy! After that, I went to revise outside Long John Silver alone. Just revised for half an hour and went home, because I don't feel warmed up enough for revision. Well, so, I went to the gym with Aaron just now. After an hour, we saw Mr Emmanuel Teo in the gym. Haha, he doesn't seem to be in a big time mood to exercise. Well, my wishes to you Mr Teo, hopefully you will get back your form, and get oogled by girls, just like 2 years ago. Lol. Mr Teo, Aaron and I talked a lot of nonsense in the gym. But its cool about the fact that he managed to do a 20 - 20 kg bench press after a long time not doing it. Hah, so yeah, just did a bit of exercise for 2 - 2 and a half hour and went home.

And here I am right now, gonna continue studying again. I'm gonna go to Pulau Ubin on Saturday again. Yep, to campsite, as HRC trainer. Hah, and I think that I'm gonna bring my notes and stationery along and revise for all I care during my breaks.

Hmm, and of coruse, tomorrow will be a long day. Exam, followed by NPAP training at Home Team Academy. I'm awesome, I know. heee

Well, its time that I study again now. I'll blog as soon as I can.

*Just as life seemed almost meaningless, there comes.....*

2009-02-18T23:05:00.002+08:00

Okay, hello again. Friday's my Basic Microbiology exam. Wooo, and I'm left with one more topic, which I just have to revise thoroughly. I think I will be able to do that by tomorrow noon. Things are going well so far, I hope it will carry on smoothly.

By the way, I didn't go to gym since Sunday, have been going twice a week instead of three times a week. The reason why is that I've been cycling, studying, NPCC-ing, researching, cardio exercising and MMA-ing a lot of times lately.

Btw, speaking of cycling, I went cycling on Sunday. I intended to cycle around the circumference of Yishun. Did almost that. But, one time, I was going to a path, thinking that it is the longest way to get around Yishun. But hell no, its even worse. I find myself to be near the sea, where there's constructions going on, and there are foreign construction workers around. I cycled even more, and ended up at West Camp. I cycled even even more, and guess what? I found myself at Jalan Kayu bus stop!! lol. Not to mention that the sun was scorching hot and I did not bring any supplies of water. Let me tell you this, there is not a single damn shop down there, and I my throat was very dry. Had a feeling I might turn dehydrated. Luckily, I adapted myself to such situation before, I put myself to be half alert and in a very rest mode and let my instincts bring me back to Yishun. So, overall, I cycled from Yishun to Jalan Kayu, and back to Yishun. That's like cycling the whole of TPE, not to forget the fact that I cycled almost around the whole of Yishun. Thats the longest distance I've ever cycled in less than 3 hours!

So yeah, I went for MMA yesterday and it was pretty fun. Improved on my kicks. heheee.
Enjoyed post training. Had short submission matches. Lost one, and won one. Somehow, I'm improving bit by bit. Thank God, but hopefully, I will be able to improve giant steps by giant steps.

Today, erm. yeah, just went to school for one 1-hour lecture and thats it for the day. That was plainly lame. Reached home at 2pm. Yes, 2 pm! Did small sets of leg exercises, but heh, my abs hurt! And its all thanks to yesterday's exercises. Hopefully, by next month or two, I will be able to open an affordable abs program to earn a little bit of money and to shed off people's belly! And yes, it works, coz my abs look so awesome, it can buy the world. LOL. jkjk. ( As you can see, theres no blue text! Loyal readers will know what I mean, hehehe. Okay fine, blue text means its fake, but no blue text means... lmao, Im shamless).

Well, I'm gonna go to the library tomorrow to study, meet Aaron for an hour or two's session of gym, and study again! Friday shall be war. So, I'll see yer around. Bye.

*Obstacles that don't kill you makes you stronger. I better stay alive then.*

2009-02-14T20:51:00.001+08:00

My ankle is almost okay. I hope that by Tuesday, it will be okay again.
I missed running around. Haha, damn!
Firstly, I hope that I will be able to cycle long distance tomorrow morning before meeting up with Aaron for gym. Then, I will go to the library to study. Hopefully, I will be able to finish revising Human Physiology and Immunology as well as Cell Biology. Damn I really wana do well for my subjects. Hopefully, I will be able to attain a GPA of at least 3.9 or 3.8 this semester.

By the way, these are roughly the scores I've got for Communication Skills for Applied Science:

1)Impromptu Speech - 49.5/60

2)Research presentation:
a) Formal Speech: 47.5/60
b) Questions and Answer Session:14.5/20
c) Powerpoint slides: 11.5/20

3)Powerpoint written test: 47/60

Well overall, I did not do as well as I should. So it is time I motivate myself again and tell myself again that it is time to prove worth.

Its time, off to study now. Bye.

*I live for a purpose*

2009-02-10T00:13:00.002+08:00

Hmm hey, its midnight right now. Well, sort of..

My ankle is still injured right now. Thats the first information.

And, I discovered something about myself. I somehow discovered why sometimes, I felt disgusted when I look at a bunch of friends being so nice to each other. One short reason why is that, I somehow feel that it will only be temporary, and quite a number of people these days aren't so kind after all. I find that behind a character of a person, there lies another one who is there to talk bad about you. Happened to me at the past and it happened a lot of times.

The second reason why is probably a longer one. I have to admit that sometimes I feel happy for these people, I get jealous of them. Hah, like seriously. Because, I remember that when I was much younger, back in the past, my good friends tend to throw their tantrums at me for no reason, pretend to be good friends but used me and a lot more. How can it be fair for me not to see the others and wish I am at their place too? It is seriously a good time to know once in a while where people take your words seriously, and when they finally listen to your thoughts. Still, there are people who claimed that they do, but they do not. You need
to have a sense of belonging somewhere, and sometimes, I do have, sometimes I don't.
And yes, there are people who claimed that they do understand, but they don't. My suggestion is that these people shouldn't bug me around. It just gets worse. Its like, making it worse for me. Much worse.
And a something that I really hate a lot is being ignored. Yes, ignored. I know, people get sick of my voice. People get sick at the sight of me. But hey, I want to put in my effort to make your day. I have questions to ask sometimes. I have thinks to say. I need people to at least listen so that I do not feel like a socially depressed moron. But thanks, shit happens and people just make this shit. Thanks. If I am simply ignored, then it would be better if I talk to the wall. At least talking to the wall does not give me false hope that an ear or two will finally listen to me. And yes, I have lived my life being a loner before and I am not afraid to be one. So don't think that I am not used being a one-man team, because I grow up learning how to survive on my own. But looking at other people, they really enjoy having this sense of belonging. Perhaps its not my loss, but I might not have the rights or privilege to experience this nearly every day of my life. That is really how I feel, and why I think I am jealous. It might sound sad, but this is how I am..

Hah, but feelings aside, I seriously need sleep. Good bye readers.
*You look so sad, you look blue. I can slap your face hard enough to turn it red.*

2009-02-07T20:23:00.002+08:00

Well hey, here I am again, and guess what? I think that I have to be out of action from MMA until the end of this month. The reason why is that my sprained ankle is still... erm.. sprained. But still, I will practice myself on getting better grapplings and strikes, and come back better than ever once I'm in an all-time great condition.

I shall talk about Thursday:
I had Communication Skills for Applied Science 2 (CSAS 2) Research Presentation. I think that I did quite okay for it, except for the fact that I keep doubting myself about the points that I should say. Lol.
But still, I have to thank Solana and Nushrah for answering to my question (although they are pretty.. erm.. rite...), Chu Xuan and Yaseen for asking me good questions, De Hong for finally listening! LOL and of course all my caregroup - mates for attentively listening. For that, Thanks!

Guess what? I find another strength that I have. I really am resourceful, and of course, I can really improve much more on being resourceful. For example, before CSAS2 presentation, I used a teddy bear which was given to me by my caregroup -mates after my operation as an example for my speech. But still, I really can improve myself..

After school, I went to the Indian Hawker Center Amjad, Syairazi, Lutfi, Fariza, Candy, Clement, Yolanda, Dineesha and my teddy bear. LOL. Syai was seriously very excited about my teddy bear, coz it can record voices and talk. Yeah, so, there was one time when I was waiting for the bus alone.. and I was feeling lonely. Haha. So, I just took a picture of the teddy bear in black and white:

Isn't it cute? Haha. Its totally priceless.

Friday:
I went to HTA. My ankle still hurts, and we still had to march around. Being a CI, I do not like to show a sign of giving up either. So, there was one time, I had to halt when marching. Okay fine, a lot of time, and when we do it, we have to stomp or "bang" with our right leg. And yes, my right ankle hurts. Well, I am taking good care of my ankle now, as always (except for doing drills). Sorry ankle. But seriously, I really want to impress everyone around me and show how great a person can be if he believes he can and if he works as hard as he can, even beyond his limits. Simply everyone - the kids, the teachers, the other CIs, the FIs, the Officers. Paul, Zaki and Jun Hong Sirs are doing what they can and I really want to perform to make everyone proud, including them.

Hmm, I can bet ya that all the CIs, along with me and other officers were very busy. Very very busy. There was once where I have to command like, around 65 cadets in a contingent.
That explains it. Had debrief and stuffs, and we went for dinner at the shopping centre next to Chua Chu Kang MRT at 9.30 pm. And guess what? You Rui, Michelle and I got very random. There was once when You Rui and Michelle helped to buy 10 bubble-tea-cups of drinks for the rest. And we actually wanted to arrange the cups for everyone. So, we arranged the cups in this manner:

Falling in position with the In-charge infront! haha. "BUT DO YOU THINK THAT 9 PEOPLE CAN FORM A SQUAD?!?!! Haha. And of course, Michelle, the other Rahimi and I took a picture of them since it looks so damn lame but cute.

Oh yeah, so I went home with my ankle hurt. And had a well deserved sleep, I guess...

Today:
Went back to Temasek Polytechnic for testS. Yes TEST"S". Had two tests just now. Introduction to Psychology and Introduction to Sociology.
Seriously, I was panicking ( a little) early in the morning, but the tests were easier than expected. The Qhairil, Amjad, Luqman and I were feeling high after the test. We even felt high before we perform our prayers. LOL.

So, I went to Tampines Mall for a small lunch with Amjad. Met up with Fariza, coz she wanted to buy a present for her friend. Seemed like she had a hard time finding it, but I suppose she would have found the right one by now..
Parted ways with the both of them at 3.50pm

Set off for gym beside Yishun Stadium. Went with Ihsan.
My shoulder hurts, a little. Thats cool man, I'm a growing boy! haha.
That should be all today, and yesterday, and the day before.
'Til next time everyone, I shall blog as much as possible. Bye.

*All odds against me.. again*

2009-02-03T07:41:00.002+08:00

Firstly, I would like to express my appreciation to A8G2 and of course, my parents for buying a total of 2 cakes for me. And of course, cakes are for eating.

My ankle is almost okay. I went to the gym yesterday. Of course, I did not train my leg. I am not that crazy okay? Oh ya, there was once when Amjad called me when I was in the middle of doing my abdominal exercises. And.. I think that I sounded like I was constipating when I was talking to him. Omg.

Heh, sorry, I am pretty much rushing right now. I gotta go.

2009-02-01T20:36:00.002+08:00

Happy 18th Birthday to myself.

My 5 birthday wishes:
-to be forgiven for all my sins and mistakes and be a better person
-seeing my unit excel
-excel in my studies
-Parade Commander (oh please)
-to be happier than ever!

Today is seriously very very plain for me.
I accompanied my mum to a wedding near Admiralty Sec. Hah, and I was limping like mad. My ankle is seriously swollen but I hope it will heal by tomorrow (:
I went home before my mum, after she met up with her siblings. Limped all the way to the bus stop, boarded 858, alighted, and limped all the way home. LOL.
I can't cycle or go to the gym for obvious reasons but perhaps I should workout at home later.

Oh yeah, thanks for the birthday wishes there everyone. May you have a happy birthday when your birthday comes too. LOL

Oh!! NEWSFLASH!! Zurain is getting in pharmaceutical science at TP! Do you know what that means? I'm gonna be at the same school with her for another TWO YEARS!! lol. That will be great. Its like, National Service: with Zurain. Haha.

Speaking of school. This coming week is gonna be HELL! I have:
-Introduction to psychology test
-Introduction to sociology test
-Cell Biology theory and practical test
-Basic Microbiology practical test
-NPAP first training (:

Things are gonna get heated up. And here marks the start of my 19th year.

*Start being realistic, please.*

2009-01-31T20:41:00.002+08:00

Hey, everyone, guess what? This is a very great clue...

Lol, I've got injured yesterday during my MMA training. I fell down wrongly and badly. Very. Hah. I did won 8 rounds of submission/grapple trainings, 2 losses and 2 draws. And one injury. haha. Sprained my ankle badly, hurt my shin and pulled some muscles. Cool!

So, I have to take the MRT and walk all the way home from Khatib MRT station. And you know what was crazy after I've got the injury? I laughed like mad. Thats crazy? I was limping and finding ice pack. And I'm laughing around.

So today, I went for NPCC training. The cadets had Physical Training. And I'm still injured. I demonstrated how to get to pumping position during PT, I wonder why. Oh yeah, coz they don't know, thats why...
I cant believe that I overshot my leg upwards, such that I accidentally did a handstand, followed by a scorpion. Then my leg swung hard to the floor. And I was like.. OW! in my mind. Haha. Classic moment.
And just want to tell you this, I did a lot of crazy things without my bandage on. I only had my bandage on after training. Thank you Wen Wei for putting it on for me.

Oh, just to remind all of you that..
Tomorrow is my freakin' birthday.
It seems like my birthday tomorrow will be a plain one..
I planned to cycle to Woodlands or even further, but observing the condition of my leg, I don't think so..
So, it will be quite a random event tomorrow, or a boring one.

*Hoping for a hope to come.*

2009-01-28T00:39:00.002+08:00

Hey, guess what? I cycled from Admiralty, Woodlands to my house without my daily medication, finally ate my medicine and breakfast one hour after medication, and cycled to Ang Mo Kio MRT station. Not to forget that I went back home on my bicycle. Thats a total of more than 15 km! Woo.

Trust me, on the way home from Ang Mo Kio, I can feel my ass sweating. At home, I found out that it was true! My pants was damp. Hah!
Afterwards, I went to the gym. Had an A-Okay kinda routine. As usual, did abdominal exercises in the end. Oh yeah, I talked to one of my 30+ year-old friend in the gym and he told me that he cycled all the way to CHANGI before! OMG. That is like, woah!
That guy owns. LOL.

Hah yeah, so I just studied, ate(as usual) and polished my boots! I have to wear a formal attire tomorrow, and I dont have a formal shoe. Thats why I decided to wear my boots. Cool eh? Haha. So.. yeah. Its pretty late. I better sleep now, school's starting early tomorrw.

*Get away or I'll make you*

2009-01-26T19:59:00.002+08:00

Hmm.

I'm alone at home. Since yesterday. I cooked my own food. Except one time when I ate food that my neighbour gave me. I'm lucky not to have poisoned myself again...
Oh yeah, I'm gonna cycle to Woodlands later, just like how I did on Saturday night.
Speaking of cycling, its been quite an effective cardio exercise for me. Cycling is definitely better than getting on a bus, except when you have to cycle all the way to Temasek Polytechnic from the Yishun Stadium area. LOL.

Its quite a lonely day today. I'm at home like most of the time. And I ate as normal, which to some people is a lot. Heh.

I just edited my timetable. I am gonna revise a lot starting from tomorrow. More past year papers, more exercising, more sleep to concentrate better and more GPAs for me!
I'm gonna do what a lot of people can't - beat the odds and make a difference.

*Its just hard, not impossible.*

2009-01-22T21:45:00.002+08:00

I went to the polyclinic just now. I did not go to Poly. And guess what? I had my shoulder tendon injured. Dang. Have to prevent carrying heavy weights and intensive exercise for 2 weeks. WOW. I can't do that! But knowing myself, I definitely can recover faster. Look at my neck surgery recovery. It was fast. I just hope that I can heal as soon as possible.

Tomorrow is not a break for me.
I better study. Theres a test tomorrow. Bye.

*No time for breaks now!*

2009-01-21T12:14:00.002+08:00

Okay, its around 1230 right now, and I'm sort of waiting for the next class which starts at 1400. Currently, I am at the computer laboratory, and I'm gonna print some notes and past year exam papers.

Yesterday, I went to meet my course manager and have decided not to retain. I just want to do my best all the way(that's what I'm known for right?) and get to a University, be it local or non-local.

Had MMA training yesterday too. Finally did some kicking (woo) and good ol' stretches. But I don't know why, I just get tired too easily at that time. Played 2 submission matches with some guy there. He's bigger size than me, and hes stronger than me. And you know what? I asked him whether he goes to the gym and he said "No." NOT FAIR SIAL!!! I put in so much effort just to be less strong than a guy who does not have to put in effort. LOL. But I managed to beat him via Triangle Choke on the first game and Guillotine Choke on the second one. If you have no idea (which most of you don't), try to watch those moves on Youtube. Hehe.

And guess what? Today, I can't move my left arm much, due to a bad shoulder. A very bad one.
It kinda hurts, and yep, when you hear "hurts" from me, it really is painful to some others.
I think I cant work out my arm, shoulder and chest much because of that. Dang.

Hmm, alright, I think its better if I go now. Read on people! And please stay alive at my tagboard! See ya.

*You make me sick*

2009-01-19T16:01:00.003+08:00

Okayy.
Well, sorry for not blogging for soooo long. Loyal readers should know why..
My schedule is seriously tight. Projects, HRC, NPAP and more stuffs!! woo.

Okay, speaking of NPAP, I have news. The posting results of CIs in NPAP has been postponed! hahaha. Regardless, I will still keep you guys updated about it.

Saturday was Pulau Ubin Day for me. Went there as HRC trainers to serve at NPCC campsite.
Met up with my good 'ol friends, some are HRC trainers and some just come to accompany their units. One time, I was working with Mustaqim and FI Hirduwan(aka Wan_jr). Wan likes to smack my back. Somehow, his smackings were very piercing. LOL. It was a little painful, but we had a good laugh. One time, we were kicking each other rapidly and playfully over a joke.
Oh, and guess what? I am pretty tanned right now. (its blue text, the blue text is fake! I'm actually handsomely tanned right now. XD ).
My skin is like very very very very red. So red, I look like a tomato. A good looking one. Haha. I seriously have a feeling that you guys are gonna puke. Oh well, get well soon people. hehe.

After HRC, went with some malay FIs, CI instructors and trainers to eat at Tampines.Had a good time eating, talking, joking and story telling until 8.15pm. Got on bus 168 to Woodlands. Had a big time stomachache on the way there. I thought that I was gonna poop, perhaps the biggest one I have ever pooped, it felt like a nuclear reactor coming out from my ass (LMAO), but nah, it was just effects from food poisoning... Food poisoning lasted until 10 pm on Sunday, after I did a lot of desperate measures (including drinking 5 bottles of Yakult).

Yeah, Sunday was mainly studying, computer gaming and food poisoning day for me. Hah, but night was pretty okay, I chatted around for like 15-20min and exercised at home, doing some core training since I can't go to the gym(once again, thanks to darn food poisoning).
Okay, I gotta go now.
Maybe, I'm gonna reward myself by going to the gym.
And MMA training is tomorrow! Wooo!!

*I have to settle with it now. Once and for all*

2009-01-11T22:43:00.002+08:00

Okay, back. Tomorrow is a Monday. Argh, I need more time to rest!
Well, I didn't manage to go to the library just now due to the fact that I had a meeting which ended up at 3pm. Cycled all the way home. Prayed, ate, used the computer for a while and went to the gym. Guess what? I not only trained with weights, I trained on my leg's flexibility too, and apparently to my standard, it kinda sucks. haha.

The coming week will be stressful again, as usual. HRC trainer duty will start the coming week too. Woo, but its kind of a good thing. I get to go to PULAU FREAKIN' UBIN!! Home sweet home to the campsite which brings memory, Campsite Resilience.

Argh, I'm kinda nervous again. NPAP commitee selection result is coming soon, followed by posting results. Hope I get what I want.

Tomorrow, I'm probably going to go to the gym at tampines to train mostly on my abdominals. Going home at 10pm. Hope it will relieve me from my stress and problems in my mind.

Hmm, I'm very tired already. I gotta go now people. Bye.

*Sacrifices have to be made on the road to success in life, but sacrifice itself does not guarantee success*

2009-01-10T22:16:00.002+08:00

200th post!!!!

I've got news. I'm likely to retain in year one. It is not that I failed very badly.
It is just that according to my calculations, it will be very hard for me to go to University with such a low standard GPA in semester one (although I passed). It is a dilemma which has been on in my mind for a very long time. I have been thinking about the consequences too - I will waste a year, I won't be talking much with friends made in my level, but it does not matter as my main objective in poly : to be able to go to University. To my opinion, friends are genuine if they will at least smile to me when they look at me as a retainee. And adding on, I can start over and kick myself up too, not to mention that I can make friends (I hope so.. I feel sad when I talk about making friends once in a while.. coz it reminds me of my feelings of rejectance that has been haunting me for like, years.. almost a quarter of my life.) So yeah, I want to go to University, get a stable and well-paid job, and repay all the good deeds to my parents, get rich, and help as many needy people as possible.
Hmm, I'm still thinking to this..
Btw, my decision will depend on my GPA for this semester. I am aiming for a perfect 4.0, but if I am to score below 3.7, thats it for me, I am going to appeal for it.
I hope that either way, it is a win-win situation.

Okay, about today.. I went for NPAP trainer selection. It was quite a smooth ride overall. However though, I was so damn tired after everything. Dozed of at home for around an hour. Could not take the fatigue. Did not go to gym today, but tomorrow afternoon it shall be. Will study at library tomorrow too!
Right now, I should just think as positive as I can, and not feel down so much (although I've been feeling sad for quite some time already..). Cheer up Rahimi! Haha.

*I need respect, at least a little*

2009-01-06T21:10:00.002+08:00

Went to school again. Didn't go to gym.. sad.
but perhaps I will go tomorrow night at Tampines gym, just maybe, I hope so.
Hmm, you know what people? My eyes are like shutting close as I type. I am seriously too tired already. Aiyo, don't think I can study tonight, unless it is completing my Cell Biology project.

I think its better that I update my wishlist. Its getting old now. And I am like, 61.7 kg. Lost weight. You know why? Its thanks to trying to lose more fats at my stomach in order to get nicer abs. LOL. And I was like wanting 70kg. I'm damn pathetic.

Schedule for tomorrow (maybe):
Get out of house.
Get on the bus.
Sleep on the way to poly on the bus.
Study.
Lunch and Study.
Study again.
Gym time.
Get on bus.
Sleep on the way home on the bus.
Go home.
Prayers and all.
Study for a while.
EAT.
Sleep.

As you can see from the above, tomorrow's schedule will be full of studying and sleeping. Yes, its very obvious. I'm sleepy, but I have to study as much as possible. Exams is like, 2 months away, I have to buck up.

*Needing encouragement.*

2009-01-05T23:29:00.002+08:00

Wahh, went home with a headache.
Now doing some work - Revision, NPAP admin stuffs, NPCC stuffs, and STUFFS.
I just don't wana get sick, I want to go for trainer's selection on Saturday again.

Woo! Stressed. Tomorrow shall be tiring at the start, but I will probably reward myself after I'm done with everything. Definitely maybe. Hah, I seriously think that I need a counsellor myself. Think I've been pushing myself too hard. I need some chill pill.

Someone help me. Give me $50. Please!! (okay that was random)

I think I'm seriously too tired now. Gtg bye.

*I will keep moving up and forward, I have to*

2009-01-01T20:28:00.002+08:00

Firstly, I would like to wish a very happy new year to everyone. Its just like finally that I have been able to blog here, I apologise about that.

Okay, I'm back from camp since Monday, and heres a little words here from myself

To my NCOs-to-be
Congratulations for being able to pass through a camp where the 1992 and 1993-born Ytss cadets have even gone through. It was tougher and through the camp, it can be observed that you are able to face everything together strongly. It has been said already but I'm going to say again that the Skills Training Camp is just a starting mark of you being NCOs-to-be. Remember that we have a very high and positive expectations from you. The unit's fate will lie in your hand one day and I really hope that it will be time that the unit will finally get back the standard that we have been aiming for. Still remember to be humble and always keep telling yourself that you can be better. But do remember that there will be greater challenges up ahead and do not slack. If not, the tough times that you have been through are nothing but waste. Last words from me: Prove to everyone that you are worthy to be a great batch of NCOs.

Okay, and I'm on the road to be mentally and emotionally recovered. LOL, I'm kinda serious about this one, by the way. Wana know why? Ask me personally verbally then.

Oh ya. And my new year resolutions are:
-Get a nice 8 pack. LOL
-Be 70kg
-Excel in my studies
-NPAP 2009 Parade Commander
-Recover from whatever is wrong with me
-And through that, be a great person and a more sociable one.

Hah, okay, bye.

*The tough times will weaken you, kill you or make you stronger.*

2008-12-26T00:03:00.002+08:00

Its officially Friday. Hmm, that means that for like, 3 days, I will not have enough sleep. That's awesome! lol, not.

Okay, today will be a little bit packed.

Sequence of events:

Subject selection (or something like that)
Advance party with Pang ZY and other camp instructors. woo.
Packing of bag for camp
To army market
MMA time :D
Sleep time at 12 + am. Possibly 1am. -_-

Woah, and expect me not to blog til like monday or something. Aiyo.
Okay.. lets see..
I've been farting a lot lately I don't know why, perhaps its too much fibre (lol, thats random).
Okay cut the crap. lol

School's starting on Monday, but I wont be attending it. Maybe after camp, I'll have my lunch and arrange for appointments with my lecturers. I seriously think that it will be a good choice.
School's at the afternoon for me on Tuesday, but I will be going to school in the morning to study. I'm studying forward so that I will be able to use a new tactic that I have. (:

But BAHH!! I'm gonna be an extra tired freak. I better reward myself soon after everything is clear. Eat Gym Sleep!! (But seriously, I feel like a lonerboy like this. heh, coz I do so many things that I like by myself. Who wana Eat Gym Sleep with me? Sounds wrong.)
heh. Wish all the best to me. I'm definitely going in hyper-no-rest mode.

*Its hard to live for everyone else more than yourself, definitely. But like it or not, I have to do it coz it will lead to how I want things to be...*

2008-12-23T23:05:00.003+08:00

I had a personality test just now. It was part of my assignments for the "holidays" (Maybe even the prime minister is less busy than me during the holidays). tsk. Well, check it out

ENFJs are the benevolent 'pedagogues' of humanity. They have tremendous charisma by which many are drawn into their nurturant tutelage and/or grand schemes. Many ENFJs have tremendous power to manipulate others with their phenomenal interpersonal skills and unique salesmanship. But it's usually not meant as manipulation -- ENFJs generally believe in their dreams, and see themselves as helpers and enablers, which they usually are.

ENFJs are global learners. They see the big picture. The ENFJs focus is expansive. Some can juggle an amazing number of responsibilities or projects simultaneously. Many ENFJs have tremendous entrepreneurial ability.

ENFJs are, by definition, Js, with whom we associate organization and decisiveness. But they don't resemble the SJs or even the NTJs in organization of the environment nor occasional recalcitrance. ENFJs are organized in the arena of interpersonal affairs. Their offices may or may not be cluttered, but their conclusions (reached through feelings) about people and motives are drawn much more quickly and are more resilient than those of their NFP counterparts.

ENFJs know and appreciate people. Like most NFs, (and Feelers in general), they are apt to neglect themselves and their own needs for the needs of others. They have thinner psychological boundaries than most, and are at risk for being hurt or even abused by less sensitive people. ENFJs often take on more of the burdens of others than they can bear.

TRADEMARK: "The first shall be last"

This refers to the open-door policy of ENFJs. One ENFJ colleague always welcomes me into his office regardless of his own circumstances. If another person comes to the door, he allows them to interrupt our conversation with their need. While discussing that need, the phone rings and he stops to answer it. Others drop in with a 'quick question.' I finally get up, go to my office and use the call waiting feature on the telephone. When he hangs up, I have his undivided attention!

Somehow, more than 70% of the contents are the truth. The "trademark" part is definitely the 30% or less. I don't think thats true as for a trademark of that I have.

Hmm, I'm also trying to find new ways on how to make money. Recently, I thought of advertising myself as an abdominal workout trainer, coz somehow, I find myself to have more and more knowledge about it. But yeah, I have to make sure that I'm good enough so that I am more liable. I'm currently offering one more person to be trained at for free as an exchange to be a living proof for my effectiveness. Who shall it be... Hmm.. I'm really trying hard to find better ways to make money so that I will be able to help myself and others with the money and also be able to have extra time for my personal self and also for my studies and other commitments. Grr.

Hmm, yeah, guess thats all. Camp is on this coming Saturday. Assistant camp coordinator is stressed. Lmao.

*Start by being appreciative at least..*

2008-12-20T00:12:00.002+08:00

Life is sort of getting more stable to me, little by little and I have to thank God and some people for it. I seriously learnt a lot of lessons for myself lately, even to those who find my comments pretty matured despite my child at heart behaviour at times to forget about my problems sometimes.
And it seems that the skills that you can learn are really unlimited no matter how much you have learnt - be it practical skills etc. or life skills.

I can't be more grateful for the priceless lessons that I have learnt in my life, and I hope that I will learn even more. Not to mention my spirit to move on. Why do I say this? Look at some other people and you can tell. People do not usually accept to learn or face a few challenges in life (before we can even say "many challenges in life") but I'm still kicking here. That's like pretty cool and so previleged of me to have the spirit to keep moving. lol.

Okay, enough we this crap. Lets move on. (wow, thats very anti-emotional-background-feeling-thingy)

Argh, I'm hungry now. Just went back home from supper with a few friends, and now I'm hungry again. Dang. But oh well, just me, the computer and a bottle of water and a bottle of chewing gums in front of me.

*Just stop giving me crap will you? Go flush it down for yourself or something.*

2008-12-17T22:12:00.002+08:00

Just went to Health Science Authority building just now with some members of TP Biomedical Science year 1 people. We went there to learn more about the blood bank. Its pretty much a nice place there.. Won't say much about it.

Hmm.. just a comment here that I wish to put down below..

Sometimes I am really disappointed of the way a lot of people are right now.
People started to think too much for themselves, but not others.
When a person starts to show how giving he can be, people don't believe it.
He tries harder, but people makes accusations that he intends to do something bad or is just being a hypocrite.
When he did even harder, people felt satisfied, but not satisfied enough. People asked for more.
When he did even more, people took him for granted.
When he did it with a lot of effort sincerely and with his own sweat, blood and tears, people still took it for granted and did not even spare a thought for him.
When he continues on to be giving, people still took it, but they got irritated with his face, his words, his presence.
He wants acceptance but people put him off as a nobody.
When he did a nice thing to a person who is feeling down, he was sweared at.
When he fought his own demons, people left him alone.
When he almost lost his mind, people made it worse for him.
When he suffered, people were to busy enjoying their lives.
When he begins to get up on his feet, noone encouraged him.
When people needs his help again, he felt disgusted, but he decided to people a chance.
When he gave people a chance, they began to take things for granted.
He began to suffer from people's selfishness; the selfless were the sufferers of the selfish.
He began to stop trusting everyone, except for himself and people who really earned it.

Hmm, I gtg now. I'll be blogging around soon again ya. Bye.

*Most of the times, I have to get up alone and yes, only by myself.*

2008-12-14T20:04:00.002+08:00

Exams are over, but I'm still damn busy. Haha.
And from now on, going to the gym will be refered to as "training at the gym" coz I train there for quite an important purpose.

Hmm, everything was fine for the term test except for Maths. Its a big bitch. lol.
Actually, it was easy, but during the test itself, my head hurts, I started panting a lot, my ear started to hurt and I couldn't concentrate. I was frustrated, I tried to calm myself down so hard, but I did not make it. I did not do most of the questions in one hour. My effort for Maths term test paper has gone to waste. I remained unwell for a while, lost some balance and stuff. Got frustrated and punched the wall in the Lecture Theatre, the concrete part, not the cardboard part. A low and slightly loud "boom" sound filled the LT man. LOL. My hand felt a little numb afterwards but 3 min later, I can feel it again. But oh well, I gotta learn to study smart more now, not too much of studying hard..

Well, I went training at the gym today. Body hurts a little here.
And you know what? I've planned that in 2 weeks, I'm regaining back my 8 pack! woo.
And after that, I'll have a nicer 8 pack. LOL.
I really wonder I want it so much, its not like we guys will be walking in the public half-naked or something. Hmm, that leads to this.. I wonder why guys care so much about why we guys care about how long and big our "strudel" should be when we aren't walking without our pants on. LOL.

Okay, stop crapping now. I gtg. bye

*Tomorrow shall be a new day*

2008-12-09T20:49:00.002+08:00

Well hey,
I finished my first paper today. And check this post out.

Today, I've been reflecting about how far I have went and rose from situations which are part of me growing up.

I still remembered the time how I was in primary school; soft hearted, naive, afraid but intelligent.
I still remembered myself being bullied back then, and I still remember when I alone sat in the hall during recess feeling sad and all the craps. I remembered when I cried alone, not showing anyone about it. And I still remembered why I do not want to fight back the people who bullied me - I did not want to hurt them. I was afraid to hurt them, knowing how violent and how much I can do with violence. I told myself "No, its not supposed to be this way. Let them be, at least they're not hurt."
Seemed like my mindset is pretty good sometimes, but actually, it ain't. I never learnt to stand up for myself - it was always about another person. There was no me, never one.
I remembered when I told my parents about myself getting bullied. Want to know what happened? I remembered that they did nothing, I only remembered them telling me to stand up on my own two feet.
And I remembered that I finally did that twice. Only twice out of multiple times for 3 years.
Haha, I guess that I was very firm about the fact that I did not want to hurt anyone.

I also remembered the days when I was mocked at a lot of time, back in lower secondary school. Seemed like almost nobody really believed in me. What I do seemed like nonsense although it was all good intentions. My dreams were made fun of, just because they seemed impossible, but they aren't. I just believed in myself more than they do to themselves. And I remembered that I do not look forward to go to school at all. I did not care at all if I will miss out in my studies. And there was only one person whom I really turned to - myself. Despite all the grudges that I have to a lot of people, there was one thing in my mind - I care for them, and I do not want anyone else to face such things that I did, or worse. Sacrifices that I made things worse, 'coz people started to use me. I found out where I was wrong. Sometimes, people have to go through situations to be more matured and make better decisions. I guess I went through a lot of them and I learnt to make better decisions and become more matured - even though I did not wish to show anyone about this.
I learnt that it is time that I make an impact in a lot of people's life for the better and help them learn to be better people too. I learnt to help myself, even if I have to stand on my own feet.

And yes of course, I am a cancer survivor and I have to admit that I have went through it bravely. I did not back down, no matter how far I know the consequences of me living on is.
God gave me a life, and another chance to live again, and together with the lessons taught to me, I want to contribute as a person who will make an impact to the society and even the world next time.

*Its part of being me, like it or not.*

2008-12-07T21:01:00.002+08:00

Hmm life is kinda stressful lately
And term test is just 2 days away. Yep, you're right, Tuesday.. This freakin' coming Tuesday!
Almost finished revising all my subjects. Hmm, seemed like I'm early, but nahh...
I should have finished revising yesterday or two days ago!

Well, lemme see what I can type as an update...:

FRIDAY!!!

School ended, and was not feeling well. So, just sat around outside the street soccer court while some of my friends played. Of course, at the same time, I was waiting for MMA training.
And you know what happened during MMA training? The highlight of the night was this...

Well, firstly the people above 17 and below 17 were separated.
And me, being 17 years and how many days and months old went to the "above 17 area*.
Then, we were asked to form a circle. And then we were briefed that each time, two people will be in the ring and the objective is to bring the other person down on the floor. The winner stays, the loser goes into the circle, and a person from the circle continues to take on the winner. It goes on and on.
And you know what?? When it was my turn, I had to take on someone TWICE my size.
Before I went in, that guy owned some others in under one minute seh. And I was kinda nervous. Sommore, he's pretty experienced. But between the both of us, it ended after 2 minutes plus. I lost. LOL. But it was kinda fun. We attempted to put each other on the ground so hard; until theres twice where I tried to lift the person up but to no avail, coz he grappled on my neck. Yes, ouch. haha. And theres two or three times where he half pushed, half throwed me away, but I managed to balance and land on my feet. Lol. Maybe its tyco, iono. Then the final attempt was so called the end. We grappled on each other, slammed each other at the same time, and he ended on top of me. LOL. I lost. But that was one experience!

YESTERDAY!!!

Went to the gym before wanting to study.
I was training yesterday, and theres this 30 year old guy who is so-called my fren ah.
He told me that there's a bodybuilding competition this month, and I told him I know la, coz my friend Suhaimi told me some months ago that he wants to be in it. Then, he asked me to try and go for it. I was like shocked man. LOL.
I was like "I so small, for what sehh".
He responded "Join the Juniors one la. They don't count your body size, they look at your muscles".
And I replied "Don't want ah.. I not into bodybuilding ah.. I just like fighting as a sport and I also like to keep in shape and keep fit. heeeeheee"

Yep, trust me, I don't wana be a bodybuilder, though some might find it cool to be one.

TODAY!!!

Today was like nothing happened. Just stayed at home all the way. Haha. And you know something? You're bothering me. I wana study la! LOL.
haha, okay people, thanks for reading. Bye.

*Gonna show 'em what I'm all about.*

2008-11-30T22:23:00.003+08:00

Back again.
Check out my upcoming term test Time Table:

Basic Microbiology -9 Dec 08 (Tue) 1 pm

Human Physiology and Immunology - 10 Dec 08 (Wed) 11 am

Communication Skills for Applied Science 2 - 10 Dec 08 (Wed) 1 pm

Mathematics and Statistics 2 - 11 Dec 08 (Thu) 9 am

Cell Biology - 12 Dec 08 (Fri) 9 am

Well, as you can see here, I have 9 days to Term test. Hope not to fail it, or just pass in it ; but do well in it! Gonna meet up with teachers on Tuesday and Friday. May God give me His blessings (:.

Comments Regarding My Term Test Subjects:

Basic Microbiology - Omg, only know a little about it.
Human Physiology and Immunology - I'm okay with Immunology, but not Physiology! omg.
CSAS2 - It shud be renamed with Wasting Time in Applied Science, almost done revising.
Mathematics and Statistics 2 - 2 more chapters to revise.
Cell Biology - OMG WTF. First part was easy, but NOT the other half!

Woo. So yeah, wish me all the best people! Don't give me problems, I already have enough (:

*Its time for the judgement*

2008-11-28T21:40:00.002+08:00

Okay, finally back.
You know what? I've been getting more and more serious when it comes to be the Asst Camp Coordinator for Skills Training Camp 2008. To some, it is once in a lifetime that they can help in changing someone's or a group of people's life for the better, but for me, oppurtunity keeps coming towards me(though its been a few times). However, it is always hard to do so, well theres no such thing as doing it easy right? But still, its still a good deed worth doing.

Well, that was the introduction.
Basically, I'm the kind of guy who aims to improve people's lifeskills and for some people, leadership skills. Its seriously cool when someone's life is beginning to "win" more values and stuffs and when you look at them, you feel happy for them.
Haha, and I have to admit (again) that life for me is very stressful. But looking at my positive habits, I really wonder what will happen to me if I stop exercising, 'coz right now, I'm half regretful and depressed sometimes.

But of course yeah, I have to look at myself sometimes, and I have to keep reminding myself that this life that I am having is not only a gift from God, but since I was given one, its my own life and responsibility; I have to think for myself once in a while.
And I think that I seriously should let my hair down one day and stop pulling up my socks once in a while. (wow, the green sentence has two metaphors :D)

And yep, though I may not like it sometimes, I have to do it, for my own good.
*One day, you will see*

2008-11-23T20:54:00.003+08:00

Hmm, I am feeling pretty sick right now.. again.

Throat infection is back, cough and my neck muscle at my back hurts.
Hmm, on Friday after school, I went for MMA again. Wow, I was pretty sick then and the cardio almost depleted my energy away. The good part was that, I really sweat like mad (its a very good cardio workout), I had some grappling and submission game with three people. The first one, I lost. LOL. That guy did an ambar on me, I stand up and tried to do a bicep curl like how I did in the gym, but my arm got hyperextended. I tapped out (gave up). Hmm.. I thought about that "match" and I discovered that I tried to bicep curl that guy's arm with only my right arm. I shuda used my left arm too. If I had done that, I woulda have a chance to execute a powerbomb to him. Ah.. too late. LOL. The other matches were mixed with wins and losses of course.

Saturday.. nah nothing much. Reached home only to discover that the back of my neck hurts like mad.

So today was kinda okay for me la. Went for community involvement programme (CIP) again at Eunos. So yeah.. It was pretty short.
Tomorrow is.. HPI quiz for me.
Gotta do my best in it there. Really had some fears that I will fail. heh -_-.

*The selfless were treated selfishly*

2008-11-18T21:48:00.002+08:00

Aiya. So sorry everyone. I did not post the previous days.

Well, I woke up on Monday at 5.30am only to find myself with flu and cough. My nose was like an opened tap with water flowing rapidly, only that it isn't water, it is mucus. Blow the hell out of it and carried on with life for the day. LOL.

I was very dead the whole day. Hardly show any facial expressions. Very very rare. Coursemates go around and were like "Rahimi, are you okay?", "Rahimi, you look so dull and " and "Rahimi you look GREAT!.. AS USUAL". And yes yes, the blue part is not true. AS USUAL. Lol.
Yep, I could not keep myself awake during the second lecture. Slept halfway, and could not concentrate. But yeah, I did what I can and focused as much as I can. I was lucky that I managed to catch most of it.
So yeah.. I coughed and sneezed and focused my way 'til the end of my curriculum time. Not to mention that I had chest pain attacks. Argh. I've got hit by the longest chest pain I've ever felt.
I told myself that I will go to the gym to kill my stress away.

So, I did it. Went to the gym with Aaron Cheong and helped to train his arms. Well, I ain't a pro in training people, but he said I was damn effective in it. LOL. We did some chest exercise and yeah, Done. Signed in at the gym at 19 35 and signed out at 21 50. Aiya around there la. Heh.

Well today, I felt a little better. I guess. Was still sick and had chest pains, but this time, its just muscle aches at the chest. Phew. Thats a good chest pain. Rahimi wants to look hot-ter and be strong-er. Wahahaha.
And right now, I needa study. zzzzz.

*I don't wish to struggle just to discover that I have to struggle even more*

2008-11-17T00:51:00.008+08:00

Oh yeah, finally managed to fix the computer, it crashed like mad 2 days ago. And the worst part is I have to fix it but yeah, it feels pretty cool after finally getting the job done.

Okay, lets see.. My weekend has totally been eaten up by community service stuffs..
Yep, you've got it, no gym, not much of studying, not much rest, not much eating (okay fine, I eat like normal which is a lot to some) and no time for my own.
But still, I've got some pictures for all of you reading this blog.. Well, it'll be down from here.

Well, these pictures were taken on Saturday, during community service at Botanic Garden. I was one of the facillitator there facillitating some of my year one mates while they take care of kindergarten to primary school kids! Alright, enough waiting. Here you go:

Okay.. right here is my shoe when I was on the transport before we reach the Singapore Botanic Garden.

And right here, we have Zech and Yolanda sleeping on the bus. And yeah, they are very tired as we can see here. DUHHH.

And yeah, we alighted and saw some Korean tourists around. It seems like they are trying to convince themselves that they saw Heaven, but nah, its a freakin' tree that they're pointing to. LOL.

Okay, this waterfall isn't as big as it seems. Its in the cooling room in the Botanic Garden. And yeah, the cooling room is a nice place to sleep in, 'coz its damn nice and comfy and cooling and bla bla bla my ass off..

Yep, another view of the cooling room. Well, the mist is caused by an "artificial rain" there. Omg look at Firdaus there. But its damn cool. I was so silly coz I'm a lil thirsty, so.. I tried drinking some of the water. LOL. Nah, im not that much of a dumbass yer noe, though I am one. XD

Well, 2 of the 3 kids my group is taking care of. They're brothers, the big bro (in blue)'s name is Chong Wei Jun and the one in pink is Chong Song Jun. Guess what I call them? The Chong Brothers! And the blue kid responds to me and smiled with humour when I called him Mr Chong. But yer noe, the blue kid is very brotherly, and he does a good job taking care of his bro. As you can see here, he's dividing the tissue into 2 pieces after they washed their hands to so that their hand would not be as wet? lol.

Yep, another pic here.. and..
Okay, and over here is the third kid, Miguel. Super hyperactive man. And wana noe something? He told us that he eats 2 coffee sweets A DAY!! omg, no wonder. LOL.

The biggest spider I have a ever seen.. except for spiderman, of course.
And yeah.. we were done, and we went to eat. Had MEGA McSPICY EXTRA VALUE MEAL!! and I became hungry again 1 or 2 hours later. hehehe.

Hah, the post is to be continued.....

2008-11-13T20:24:00.002+08:00

Hmm, lets see what have I gotta say here..

I went for Mix Martial Arts training on tuesday night with 3 of my friends. Lol, we were training on punching, dodging, blocking, counter attacking and a basic slam. Partnered with Zhi Liang, as usual. Its damn fun to train with him coz everytime, we will push each other very hard and the both of us don't like to give up. Hah and you know what? I've got "owned" very badly by him man in striking. LOL. 'Coz my blocking and dodging sucks! But let me tell what happened first. At first, we were like punching lightly to each other. Then instructor ask to punch harder, so we gave a light to medium punch to each other. Zhi Liang mouth bleed thnx to cuts from his bracers and i got bruises under my eye, at the lips in my mouth and above my lips. LOL. Its DAMN fun though. And when it came to slamming, that was damn fun! lol. I improved! haha. That was badass!

Hmm today was kinda short and long at the same time. I was very tired almost the whole time. I studied sometimes during breaks, slept an hour during a 3 hour break. Damn. Kinda feeling quite uncomfortable, that means I gotta go to the gym. Hmm, maybe tomorrow nite.. so yeah..
Well, thats all today uh.. gtg. bye.

*I feel used, once again. I begin to hate people even more, but I know I should do whats right.*

2008-11-09T20:23:00.005+08:00

Urgh. Okay lets see.. Currently noone at home now. Wana know something? My neck has been hurting badly for a week now. At first, I thought it was just a result from lack of rest. Nah, I was wrong. I still don't know what caused it though (lol) but it kinda hurt, and cracking it makes it worse, MUCH worse.

I still wonder how the hell I can juggle up with so many things right now. And now, I have to do it with a super pain on my neck. Please note: If I am quiet about it, I am just trying to ignore it, no use complaining right? But I'm doing it on my blog FOR YOUR INFORMATION and isn't this the place where I can freely complain around?

So, yeah, tried feeling my neck with my fingers, you know, the part where I feel the pain. It felt damn weird ah but I think its just me. Hmm, and I still wonder how I can still do chin ups yesterday during physical training in YTSS. Oh yea, I know why.. I don't freakin strain my neck. How slow can I get. Arguing to myself in this post. ZzzZzzZz.

Hmm.. I still have a problem here. Whenever I feel angry (outside NP of course), or sad, or depressed or have a deep frustration, I am still not able to express myself well. I don't know why. Haiyo. Its just my fault to live in a childhood where I hardly have a chance to say what I really wish I want to say.

Okay, an example of when I can't express my anger, or maybe a feeling of sadness is when theres a person who climbed over my head maybe I was too kind. Say hi to the person also cannot seh. Kena shoo. Lol, okay not lol, fuck seh. I don't know whats up with me, but I know its my fault. I should'nt be too kind or nice, or "act cheerful" in front of people. Completely my fault.
Grr.

Now.. I'm gonna list my official commitments and this that are bothering me in my head:

Skills training camp 2008
Health check up, as usual - every 3 months, and started after I'm discharged from hospital after getting cured from cancer.
My studies, its a hard catching up..
And since its hard checking up, I have to make more schedules to meet up with teachers for 1-to-1 sessions.
Secondary 3 NCOs Ssgt test scheduling
Sec 1 Lcp test? - maybe..
Personal problems, of course
My departments in Freshmen Orientation - I am very disappointed at myself. Can't keep up with the pace.. I seriously screwed myself up, and everyone.
HRC at Pulau Ubin - Its a good thing for me to help and I have to meet the minimum requirements to help over there, but don't I need to help myself already?
YTSS NPCC!! - Omg, I really took an oath to myself to save that unit. I can't just not do it right? Its my responsibility and thats what I want to do of course.

Wooo! Now with all those listed, I got three words. IM SOOOO DEAD, fuck.

Omg, sorry, make that four words.
Aiyo, i better go. Bye.

*I was accused, slandered, personally insulted, looked down on, had my kindness taken advantage of, blind-sided, turned down, disrespected, forgotten and just much more and I am right here keeping my patience. Now listen, if you are the unlucky one who I blow my top to, please.. do not put the blame on me for it was the others' fault and your fault and you might also want to blame it on your luck for a memorable part of your life will be presented to you by yours truly, Rahimi.*

2008-11-04T23:01:00.002+08:00

My body aches today. Yep, thats one thing.

Well, first thing in the morning, I used the computer to look for my personal administration stuffs.
Then, I went to school around an hour early to print out more notes and tutorial worksheets for myself at the computer lab. After that was my Psychology tutorial.
Well, I kinda enjoy every Psychology lessons so far, be it tutorials or lecture. Its pretty fun and very English. Lol, can't find another way to describe it.

Oh yeah.. life went on as usual just now.. and here I am. Today was not so much of a special day. It was kinda ordinary. But still, I enjoy studying, like serious. Im a total geek. Oh god. Nah.. of course not, coz I don't like studying too much; I can't study 24 hours a day rite? I needa eat, sleep and have my own personal time (and yep, sometimes, a time for myself to be alone, not emo though).

Hmm, but still, life is kinda stress with assignments building up and more stuffs to memorise and be a part of my memory. Not to mention the ones I have to understand. Fuyooooooo.
Ah, I better go now la.

*Even the most motivated looking person can be demoralised*

2008-11-02T22:18:00.002+08:00

Okay.. Lets see...

Yesterday...

Dint go for NPCC as said earlier, coz I was helping with TP some Applied Science School Students Level one students in their CIP activity. Facilitated A8D2. Well, though I know that many of them do not enjoy the activity, I actually do. Well, we get to save the environment for starters, and even better, the money goes to charity. Thats nice enough right?

After 4 hours of carrying newspapers and going up and down the stairs, (I personally covered 10 blocks) I went with Amjad, Benedict, Yolanda, Candy, and Howard (though hes just a little bit late but its okay, and all are fellow Applied Science Subcomms) to Burger King for lunch at Century Square. Had a big headache there and slept like for 10 minutes. Felt better after that and you know what? We talk cock over there for over an hour. Omg. Precious time wasted. LOL. Oh well.

So, I was on the way home on the bus and felt sick again. So, I slept all the way til my stop. Still had a headache but still went to the gym. Only lasted 30 min there coz I really really felt as sick as hell there. But, did like 3 or 4 sets of leg exercises and at least theres effect. LOL.

Oh well.. so life carried on as normal and I was okay again at around 9 in the evening.

Today...

Today was a little funny. Woke up, watch TV with family till around 9 and slept again and woke up again at 11.30 pm. LOL. I was too tired, what can I say. Well, I was not so satisfied with yesterday's exercise so.. went to the gym again. Wahaha.

And watched 1 or 2 movies before studying. Yep, I'm a good boy there. Hah.

Orite I gotta go now. Needa study. Heh. Bye people.

*Its not over 'til I say it. Right now, its time to work it out*

2008-10-31T23:33:00.002+08:00

Weekends is here!! Woo!
Well, first things first. Tomorrow, I'm not going for NPCC, but instead be going for CIP, helping Applied Science Studies Club save the environment by collecting newspaper and recycable materials. Woo!?

Okay lets see what's interesting today. I was a whore today! LOL.
I posed a lot today in poly acting like a homo model a few times and a hunky model, ONCE. haha!
And people going around saying that they weren't turned on. My response is.. WTH? I don't wana seduce you. lol. Maybe they feel aroused or something, and wanted to deny it. Haha, crap, Rahimi, crap.

Hmm, another thing.. My passion for MMA lives again! Almost have enough money to go for it again, so.. yep! Will go there again like lets say.. around 2 to 3 weeks later... so.. thats an update.

Next up, wana hear a childhood story about myself?
Some of you might have heard it but here it goes..
This really happened before and I translated it from Malay to English.

When I was 4 or 5 years old...

Rahimi: MUM!! When I grow up, I want to be a road sweeper!
Mum: (confused) HUH?! Why do you want to be a road sweeper?
Rahimi: Because ah.. If I sweep and sweep and sweep, I might find money that has been dropped, and be rich!!

Next thing that happened after that, my mum burst into laughter for how silly I was. But look, its a sign that my family was given a member of the family who thinks on many angles!! yay! LOL. So.. thats all. Bye.

*I just can't be everyone's favourite guy. Who am I? Your pet dog?*

2008-10-29T00:22:00.003+08:00

Today was kinda short. Just have one lesson and one lecture today.

After school at the evening, I wanted to take the bus home, but was damn hungry, so.. I went to KFC to buy a Student Meal. So, I was queueing up to when there is one girl beside and another girl and guy behind me and they were talking la. Was looking in front. So.. the girl beside me was like talking and talking and I thought she was asking me about the line that we were queueing at la. So, i turned to her, looking unsure and she had this broad smile on her face. And my response is a shocked "woah!" face. And she looked at me and burst into laughter and I was like.. "wha??!" to myself. Suddenly she started talking to me along with her friends, asking about my course and all. LOL. They are around 17 I think, seemed like. And yeah, ordered my meal for a take-away, said bye to them and left. And one of them went talking to the others "Oh my gawd, he's so macho, I shoulda ask for his number." I noticed it, but just ignore and left. Please note that the words that I typed in blue is total fiction. LOL.

Hah, my body aches like mad. Heh, effects of exercising. DAMN! Aiya, its kinda late already here. Better get going. Bye.

*Reminder to self: Study hard all the way.
And keep fit. A hot nerd!! LOL*

2008-10-23T22:44:00.004+08:00

Good news! I'm officially taking Sociology and Psychology for my cross-disciplinary subjects!
I studying double - logy >>> "Psychosocio". Wow. Sounds like a pokemon attack. LOL. Alakazam! use Psychosocio attack!! heh.

Today was just okay for me, except that I got too tired for studying like mad for the past 4 days (including today). Accidentally slept during a lecture, got pissed. 'Coz I missed out a little. Power ah! I better revise later so that I will understand every single shit.

Things I will do later:
Last washups,
Prayers,
Study,
Abdominal Exercise
Polish boots,
Sleep!

Hah, but it seems that I kinda not mind studying hard coz its really a good deed especially when you are willing to sacrifice for your family so that they will enjoy the fruits of their hard labour (and mine too). Like seriously, from primary school up 'til now, its not much of a smooth ride but sometimes, its great to motivate myself once in a while and say that I'll be doing well and I am almost there. 7 more years Rahimi!! (or is it around there?)

*Keep your patience man, you have to. Have to keep away from getting people hurt*

2008-10-21T23:03:00.002+08:00

Poly started yesterday. And you know what? I got in 2 cross disciplinary subjects. Okay, for those who do not understand, we get to choose 2 subjects which might not be related to science. Well, the subjects are Innovative Principles and Practice and Psychology.

Psychology is like pretty cool ah. My first lesson was today soo yep. Innovative Principles and Practice (Inno PP) is darn boring to me. Its like DnT. LOL. 4 years study DnT, study again. I needa back out from the subject. haha! My classmate, Glenda got in Inno PP with me ah, and our first lesson was today also. We laughed softly and played like kids during the lesson for an hour. And the lesson is supposed to be 3 hours. Luckily, it only lasted for an hour, coz in less than even an hour, I felt like sleeping man. I think I am gonna back out tomorrow.

Well, was darn stressed out, so went gym again lorr!! Went with Aaron Cheong again. And I carried weights until I can't even carry a 10kg barbell for goodness sake. Did until my limits liao. lol. Felt more relieved after that ah but just more sleepy.

Waah, and I have to do lotsa things first thing in the morning. Meet a lecturer to request for a change of Cross Disciplinary Subject and have to recap everything that I have learnt at the first and second day since poly reopened. And of course, lots more. Haiyo, better sleep now ah. Bye.

*Don't push me.*

2008-10-11T23:17:00.005+08:00

Hey every one! I know, I know. I've been missing-in-action for dayysss now. Sorry everyone.
I've went to a course/camp for 4 days and 3 nights. Well, its called "HRC trainer course" also known as High Ropes Challenge trainer, but I'd prefer to call it, High Ropes Course Trainer Course. Wow so many course. The trainer course of a course. Can we call that "intercourse"? LOL, sounds dead wrong. I am depending on my coursemates to give me the pics, so.. if we dont have it, dont scold me ah. Hehehe.
Oh ya, you know what? For like, most of the meals, we ate rice with curry chicken.

What I learnt from the course:

- More techniques when being a facilitator
- Confidence (seriously)
- You can still get sick of curry chicken even if you once like it sooo much
- I have a lot of improvements to make for myself as a Cadet Inspector and also as a man that I am
- How to improve myself in many ways (A reflection that I made to myself at one night)

Well, on friday(a day after camp), I was sooo damn stressed up by my many commitments that I have. I am dependent on gym-ing to release my stress. So, yep, went today and yesterday. Fuyo. Speaking of commitments, I have to "throw" one away. Its for my own good. I have seen myself with too many commitments before, and it is pretty ugly. Sometimes, even gym-ing doesnt help. Argh headache. Seriously having one. Note to self: I will not let go of NPCC, coz I have promised myself that I won't until I leave what I wana leave behind. And it is a part of me to why I did not turn into a bad person which I had a feeling I could be.

Hmm lets end it here. I gotta go now everyone. I appreciate to all who read my blog. Thanks.

*Its time, another great challenge ahead. Now its 3 great challenges, and 2 great problems I'm facing now*

2008-09-28T02:53:00.001+08:00

I still remember the time when I was a cadet back then in NPCC.
Well, its been a long time since I was one, ever since I'm a CI. Soo.. here we go.

I remembered when I joined it on February when I was in Secondary One. I actually quitted on my previous CCA, and Aaron Cheong asked me to just try it out. Actually, I had absolutely no interest in uniform groups. Just had a stereotype impression that uniform group students are just people who stand in the sun for no reason, and act like robot. LOL.
So.. yeah, I came in late by 1 month and joined it together with Lam Jia Min. Still remembered. So yeah. The day I first attended the CCA, I was an enthusiastic freak. I still remembered when we did drills and I was so blur doing it (even still despite the fact that I am a malay). Do not blame me friends, it was my first day.
Then, we had sing-a-long session. I remembered when my Sec 3 seniors sat in front of us, and we sang the "If I Were.." song. If I were a farmer's son, if I were to marry. I would marry a farmer's daughter more than anybody... why? She can dig, I can dig, we can dig together. In the middle of the night. DIGGING ONE ANOTHER!! Then my squad will go EEEEEEE. And the Seniors replied "It is dirty if you think that it is dirty. Don't think dirty ah!"
haha. Then just carried on and stuff.

Well, my own secondary one camp. Trust me, I felt like crying once during the camp. (NO SHAME!! lol. 13 year old still want to cry!!) ahah, okok. Hmm, its because I lost my grp flag 2 times in a day, then we have to carry the flag upside down (symbolising a weak, haywired group.) Hah, you know what, that camp is a torture camp compared to the camps Uniform Groups have these days. These days, people are overprivileged, or so to say, wrongly-privileged.
But still ah, its damn memorable. It was the first time i smelled a pontianak during Sentury/Guard duty. COOL RITE? LOL!!

Okay, Sec 2 was kinda cool, 'coz puberty is near this area rite? LOL. wth sia my randomness.
Haha, rite Sec 2 was kinda cool coz you getta look at your first ever JUNIORS! lol, that was when friendships of memorable people were made, such as Stephanie, Danial and of course, Buddy-4-life Zurain. Okay okay, now I remembered the time when I was instructed by my SIRS and MAAMS to conduct water parade. And, knowing me that time, and sometimes now, I am very very blur, but I really wana improve myself one. Hah, and that time, after water parade, some of the juniors can't finish the water la, coz we were instructed to empty them. So, what I did was absolutely crazy. I drank my own water bottle and 4 other waterbottles. Adding on, these water bottles are like 1.5 litres in volume. So, you see this short-but-growing boy drinking 7.5 litres and struggling while doing it. After that, my squad kena pump. LOL. Imagine 7.5 litres of water in your stomach and you are in pumping position, and still do push-ups also. Hah, The Good Ol' Days man! It was damn cool.
Hah, yep, and remembering Secondary 2 days.. we were having Campcraft then. So.. we were at the carpark area in the school when one of my squadmates walked through a spider web, and the spider is like following her. So, what I did was I tried to move the spider web which was attached to her to the ground peacefully. Then, one of my maams, Cynthia came to me.

Cynthia maam: Rahimi, whats that?
Me: Spider-MAAM!
And people who were there all laugh like shit. LOL. SPIDERMAAM!!

Secondary 3 was a stressful time man. Had campcraft competition. Damn freaking stressed. I was the captain of my team, and despite a lot of efforts, I am always slow when it comes to tying what I have to tie. The time limit is 10 min. Usually during practice, I will finish tying my campcraft gadget (the thing i have to tie) in 6 min, but when I practice in front of my teacher officer, I will always exceed 10 min. Damn suay sia, haha. My squadmate Jia Hui came up with a joke that I use Game Shark ( a cheat catridge for Gameboy) when I tie my gadget within 6 min. Lol joker. But sometimes in early 2006, if you are in Yishun Town Secondary School, you will see me tying some stupid gadget almost all the time. Recess, class breaks, after school, before school, between class perios, ALMOST EVERYTIME!! lol. But its freakin' cool when I was sec 3. Somehow, before i was even an NCO, my juniors are kinda afraid of me. I seriously dono why. I was laughing my ass out that time, when I see the new sec 1s become damn stiff when i pass by them, even when I wasnt announced as an NCO yet. I was like "sialah, why they like that? I angel sia"
Sec 3 was also the time when I first became a freaking NCO, a CCA leader! I still remembered. The first time I became one and help conduct a training, I received a comment from Zurain on MSN. She said that she almost cried when i glared at her squad and the sec 1s. I somehow discovered that I have the glare of death. UAH UAH UAH. But hell with it, my intention was to make sure my juniors become better than myself, MUCH better. hah, so that was sec 3 life.

Sec 4 life was damn short ah, but pretty okay. During my on Release Of Duty (ROD), my squadmates and I got a lot of flashbacks. Its like, cool la, we went thru so much together, although not all of it is sweet. But yeah, that makes us even closer together cause we went through so much of the good times and bad times together. I decided to become a CI because someone has to save the unit(YTSS NPCC) and make it better (coz i predicted that it will need lloooooots of fixing coz there are still lots of problems which have to be solved or the unit will face its fall). Hah, of course not only that, still have passion to serve the CCA as a whole, wana contribute to improve the whole CCA and also because of unaccomplished goals and dreams which are not dead. XD

Soo.. yep.. those were the cadet days of mine la.. generally. I could make a novel about it if it is specific and I bet you guys will be too lazy to read!! haha alright. bye now.

*I failed and failed. Failure is the first step to success, IM STILL IN SQUARE ONE??!*

2008-09-21T22:42:00.002+08:00

I woke up, thinking that today is a monday and I was like getting ready to go to the library in school. But, just checked my phone out, it was a sunday. ZZZ!! Simply sat down, and SLACKED.
So, I just woke up, watched Nuttin' But Stringz on youtube again, and the same stuff happened. I was like, "THEY ARE AWESOME" again.

So.. I just youtube-d, played video games and instant massaged until like 6.20. Guess what? I cooked my own meal again!! haha. Spicey Fried Noodle + Beef, Fishball, some minced meat and Prawn! woo. And guess what? I didn't poison myself!! Woot!

Tomorrow, imma do what I am actually supposed to do. Study, prepare for Semester 2, help my class mate with her supplementary paper in Biochemistry. And reward myself by working the hell out of myself in the gym tomorrow!! woo!! yeah, so see yer around people.

*The devil of hope will be back*

2008-09-18T21:08:00.002+08:00

Okay.. I had my HAP supplementary exam today. Tell you the truth.. It was easy!! (after hardcore revisions of course). Lol, its kinda weird but i was smiling and laughing (a little) throughout the paper. Except for one question, which I left blank. -_-

So.. I was on my way home.. and was feeling unwell. Seriously felt like vomitting, ever since I was on Bus 969 to khatib. Went home, watch wrestling for 30 min, was unwell again and slept frm 1400 + to 17 30. That was pretty much of a sleep. Woke up again and watched "Never Back Down" ( yes, i know I am 1 month outdated, but who cares..). It was a nice movie, seeing people kicking each other's ass. haha.

So yeah.. Here I am right now in front of the computer. Gonna go to the gym on tml or Saturday.. We shall just see about that.

So.. think thats all today now. Come back again ya.

*I have to work harder, and do better next semester, the one after, and all the way until I graduate. Starts from tomorrow.*